The Memories You Left Behind
by 2Legit4You
Summary: Fujiwara no Mokou cannot die, she is destined to live on whilst everything around her crumbles to dust and fades away. Then Keine appears in her life and just like that, her solitary existence is given a new meaning. Overcoming her fear of loss, she finds there's more to life than living. This is a tale of the bittersweet and timeless love that bloomed between mortal and immortal.
1. Part 1 - Mokou, Fluttering Feelings

**A/N: Beforehand I've just got to thank Achariyth1 for his excellent job of giving the first part of this fic more than one thorough look over. Pointing out mistakes in a way that makes me laugh at my own stupidity definitely requires some unique kind of tact.**

**Disclaimer:** **Touhou Project and all its affiliated characters are property of Team Shanghai Alice(ZUN). **

**Note:** **This fic contains lesbian/yuri/girl-on-girl/ content. If you are offended by such material I ask you to please stop reading here.**

...

Part One: Mokou, Fluttering Feelings

'**Time can be your worst enemy or your best friend**.'

The frail bark cracked and splintered beneath the forlorn strokes of my fingers. There were no longer any leaves dotting the sprouting branches. That was normal in winter when the seasons changed and the leaves had already fallen. But it was spring, the tree should have been bursting with cotton candy coloured leaves. This sakura tree I had come to admire would no longer bloom for me.

"I guess that was your last winter." The tree was lifeless, never to bloom again. I was reminded of the impermanence of everything in this world. This tree had been standing since the day I'd gained my immortality. In the beginning it was only just a sprout battling with the forces of nature to continue growing stronger and taller. For a thousand years I'd watched it grow, watched the petals fall and blossom in constant cycle. Now it was gone...and with it a part of me seemed to depart alongside.

"Mokoooou!" Keine trotted up the shallow hill to meet me where I was staring up into the gnarled and twisted fingers of the dead tree. "What did you want to show me?" She turned and huffed. "Mokou, what's wrong?"

_What the hell! Why am I crying?_ I could taste the tangy salt on my tongue; feel the trails the tears left in their wake. "I-I wanted to show you..." I could hear the sadness in my tone, the unexplainable hurt. _Not this._ "T-to show you―" I turned away and looked into her hazel eyes, seeking the words that were hidden to me. "Keine."

I fell into her arms wrapping myself around her gentle form, pursuing comfort. I pressed myself harder into her body wanting to force out all the negative emotions swirling around inside me. Keine said nothing, only stroked my head and whispered soothing words to me. Her fingers were soft and tender calming me as they caressed my scalp.

When my tears dried up I was resting my head on Keine's lap as she laid her back against the sakura tree. Her aroma was sweet and indulgent. Somewhere amidst the sobs the reason for my tears was expressed. Keine looked to be searching for something, a way to help me. Her eyes sparkled and she looked down at me. "Paint a picture for me."

"What?"

My response caused Keine to chuckle and rethink her words for a moment. "With words I mean. Tell me what this tree used to look like, how tall it was, how many leaves it had, how beautiful it was." Smiling she wiped the tears from my eyes. "Tell me about it."

"There's no way I could remember how many leaves were on the tree." I closed my eyes and futilely tried to create a reasonable figure in my head. _One thousand? No...Ten? A hundred?_ "Well there was a lot."

"Mmm, I'm sure there were," Keine agreed with a playful mocking smile. "And what else?"

"It was old. I always remember it being right here, never moving. It wasn't impressive at first but eventually it became so amazing. It was incredible. In full bloom the colours were so bright I'd get a headache from looking at it too long. You wouldn't be able to see any brown either there was just so many leaves. And then when the petals fell... It was like time had stopped. I'd stand right under the tree and count every falling petal until there were just too many to keep track of. Then they would catch the wind and swirl all around me. They seemed alive, like fishes swimming in the air. It was like, like I was in another world. Everything was so calm and peaceful. I'd forget everything for a time."

When I finished speaking I closed my eyes and revisited my memories of the tree, so grand and breathtaking. "I didn't get to see it bloom every spring. But I made a promise with myself that I'd go and have a look at the tree whenever I was around." Within my mind's eye the petals were swimming in the ocean of the sky, soaring to new heights before gradually declining and getting whisked away finding new sights to ponder.

"That sounds amazing." Keine spoke after some time. She placed a hand over each of my cheeks. I cracked open an eye to see hers closed. "And now I have an amazing picture in my head and you have an even more incredible memory."

"I think that nothing truly dies, Mokou. I believe that within memories small parts of the souls of every living thing you've ever seen and remembered exist. As long as there is someone who remembers and holds those memories deep within their hearts nothing will truly ever die, and you will always be here which means this tree will never die."

"I wonder..." It was hard to believe in such a simple and wondrous world where everything could last for all eternity. But still, I wanted to.

"So cry now, Mokou, and smile tomorrow. You have a duty to this tree and to everything else you've ever seen die to smile and remember all of them with fond memories, of the times where they were at their greatest. So that they can live on within you."

The smile she gave me was warm, so warm. I remained silent, lamenting on days past, absorbing the words of Keine. Searching for the wisdom and hoping for the faintest glimmer of truth. There were a lot of things I was unsure about.

However right now, right here, under this tree with Keine breathing right by me. I thought to myself:

_I want this moment to last forever._

_..._

**"Knowledge is passed on through generation and generation, past every age, forever moving through time."**

The system was simple. Keine, _no, in class it's always 'Sensei'_, would write on the board talking whilst she did, she'd explain anything she thought might be unclear and expand on the things she felt everyone understood. When it was all said and done, she'd face the class, flash her brightest smile and begin a quiz. She seemed deaf to the moans and groans of the class and flew through every seat, asking each occupant a question. Some were lucky and got the easier questions, others were not quite so fortunate. If someone didn't get an answer right, amidst all the sniggers and sighs she'd re-explain the concept to the entire class.

However simple didn't always mean effective. I, Fujiwara no Mokou, am beginning to seriously question the credibility of this system. Sometimes Sensei would just bolt through an entire section talking way too fast and using words way too big and there was no way to keep up. And even if you didn't understand it after the umpteenth time she explained it to you she'd carry on anyway, deciding enough time had been wasted.

We learnt things like mathematics, language, science, biology, history, you name it. They were all boring useless and difficult. Except history, I liked history. I hadn't gotten even one history question wrong. Never, not even once. In fact sometimes ―to Sense's chagrin― I'm the one correcting _her_. Maybe it is all a little unfair considering how I've practically lived through history but I don't care. After all Keine always makes me answer the maths and science questions, that stuff…was hard.

Some days I would question my sanity for being here, after all I was a _lot_ older than any of the kids currently attending what was apparently a very basic, almost remedial mathematics class. There was nothing about life that I needed to be taught, I've lived enough for twenty people. However in the thousand or so years that I'd been alive ,the world had progressed in the fields of science and mathematics to such an extent that it was supposedly commonplace for even a normal person to know what a prime number was, or how clouds were formed from evaporated water, or the names of bones and muscles and a multitude of other useless, boring things you'd never use in practical day-to-day life.

What happened to the days where numbers were used only for counting and bad weather was the gods getting angry? Wanting to be in the know-how and feeling uncomfortable with the way everything had changed and not knowing what was now considered basic had driven me into a corner. So of course I was had to ask Keine to teach me. I wanted private lessons however but Keine said she was too busy and insisted that I attend school like everyone else, that the atmosphere would be good for me and that I would meet new people.

Naturally she never told me that the people I'd be surrounded by were ten to twelve year old kids who didn't even know how to tie a yukata. She also made me promise I wouldn't quit halfway.

_She thinks of everything, well at least it's only twice a week._

"And so that is why two is the only even prime number." Sense's voice concluded in a droll tone. Then as always she spun around and searched the class for her first victim. "Nanashi, what are the factors of thirteen?"

"Uhm... one and thirteen?"

"Yes! Correct, now, Akagi, what does that make the number thirteen?"

"A prime number!"

"Correct again. Satsuki, why is it a prime number?"

"That because every prime only has uhhh... two factors. One and itself."

"Very good." Then I knew it was coming, Sensei's eyes narrowed onto me like a hawk that just found its prey. Her smile was sweetly wicked. "Mokou, what's the highest prime number smaller than one hundred?"

Immediately everyone's eyes were on me. _Don't all just stare at me._ The kids always did that, since I was the oldest I was therefore assumed to be the smartest. Which by most accounts I was, these short lived brats had nothing on me. Except for maths, they always beat me at maths."That? That's a simple one." I said waving my hand nonchalantly. The kids love to watch me fail. "Pass."

"I'm afraid you're not allowed to do that, Mokou. If you don't know the answer, then guess. You could be right." Keine retorted, crossing her arms and looking like she always did in teacher mode, shrewd and expectant.

I crossed my brow, staring into Keine's unrelenting eyes. _Come on, Keine, you know I suck at maths._ "W-well, uhm...uhh..." _Ninety-five? No no no. Anything with five in it is a multiple of five...so... is it something bigger…then...?_ "Ninety-nine?"

When she shook her head and sighed the embarrassment was enough to set my face ablaze. I puffed up my cheeks and turned my eyes away, trying to ignore the stifled giggles of the class. "No that's not it, does anyone else want to take a try?" Amidst the chuckling children only one dared to raise her hand. "Yes Shio?"

"Ninety-seven, Sensei."

"Correct. Well done, Shio." Shio made to sit. As she did she turned to me sticking out her tongue wagging it back and forth. Shrugging I turned away, not letting myself get baited by Shio's childish mockery. But then a paper plane hit me.

Remaining calm, I plucked the folded contraption from my desk, reminding myself to take deep breaths. On the paper was a crude depiction of me as a monkey sitting on the moon scratching a balding head. In large corkscrew writing were the words: Mokou is stupid!

The crass, stale insult I could forgive. However to draw me as a monkey on the moon? What was with this kid? I didn't give the question much thought as the paper quickly crumpled beneath my fist. _You little!_ With only a second to adjust my aim I threw the crumpled paper ball smacking Shio right on her big white forehead.

She was shocked for a moment, looking from the paper to her assailant. When her eyes fell on me, partly from boredom and partly from irritation I stuck my thumb on each temple, wiggled my fingers and pulled the same mocking face she had presented me with earlier. Shio mimicked me and in this childish way I succumbed to her level.

"Mokou! Shio! What are you two doing!?"

"Eh..." I articulated frozen in the silly position that I was. "Sensei, she started it!" I declared immediately thrusting my finger out to point at Shio. Shio, however, was facing me with wide eyes feigning innocence.

"I never did anything," she sang in a sweet guiltless voice which preached no lies.

"What? Don't lie, you little brat!" I shouted out loud a slither of incredulousness creeping into my voice.

"Mokou, into the corner now!" Keine commanded in a voice that brooked no argument. I was going to protest but Keine quickly silenced me with a piercing stare. Grumbling I crossed my arms and sat in the corner where I was paying more and more frequent visits too these days.

"I don't even want to learn about maths," I grumbled to myself while I sulked alone in the corner of the class. I sat and waited barely listening to the continued lesson behind me. I tried to sleep but without a desk I'd just fall over. I began to whistle but Keine's shouts quickly shut me up. I tapped my feet on the floor, twiddled my thumbs, looked around the class for a moment and quickly decided that I was bored.

Glancing up at the clock I watched it tick by, _tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock._ Soon everything quickly faded and there was only the clock and the inevitably passing time. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Slowly everything became inconceivable, just passing.

"…kou, Mok…, Mokou!"

I jerked from my seat, barely catching myself on the chair before it toppled sideways. I looked around to notice that the classroom was empty. I heard the sounds of shouting and children's laughter from outside where the kids were playing a loud game of tag.

"Jeez, you're just like a kid, Mokou, dozing off like that. Were you daydreaming?" Keine offered me her hand, pulling me along outside.

"Nah, I was just waiting for the lesson to finish." I stretched my arms out behind me and searched for a good spot to lie down. I found a spot nestled between two tall trees, where shade was plentiful and settled there. "Math is boring."

"It's boring but you need to know it. Science and biology too." Keine responded in quick defence of her teachings.

"Yeah but when am I going to need to know that ninety-nine is not a prime number? It'll hardly save my life one day, or anyone's for that matter."

"It's my job as a teacher to teach you as much as I can in the short time I'm given. Whether or not it's useful for saving lives." Keine sat down next to me one eye watching the kids as they ran back and forth. "Are you going to break your promise, Mokou?"

"No, but do I really have to come and learn twice a week? Can't it just be one day?"

"No. You were the one complaining about how you didn't get what was going on in the world. You asked me to teach you. Remember?" She gave me a 'don't tell me you forgot' kind of look. I shrugged in response, looking up smugly to show that of course I remember. Keine chuckled, "You're so much like a kid, Mokou."

"I'm a pretty old kid don't you think?" I rolled myself slightly more forward tucking my hands into my lap and leaning over the food Keine was slowly unpacking. "Man, school blows. I'm tired of all the rules and restrictions already. Can't you tutor me privately or anything?"

"If I teach my kids at school and tutor you I'll never have time for myself. Besides you need to get out and socialize a bit more often." Keine procured a sandwich meticulously cut into four perfect squares. "Hungry?"

Grudgingly I accepted. "I socialize plenty…Just stop calling me a kid okay."

"Why?" Keine asked, a playful teasing tone creeping into her voice. "Does little Mokou want to grow up so fast? Kids always grow up in the blink of an eye."

"That's not it!" I said gritting my teeth in frustration. "It's just that, well…I don't want you to see me as a kid. I'm older than you, you know."

"I know." She grabbed the lower part of my lengthy hair, throwing white locks over her lap. She began to calmly remove the various flowers and other such nonsense I'd let the younger girls deposit in my hair earlier. Her touch was sweet and gentle, like a caring mother. "But you make it really easy to forget. I don't see you as a kid though."

"Then what do you see me as?" I questioned while reaching out for another square. I straightened my back, biting into the sandwich with one eye trained on her. Keine smiled enchantingly.

"A very precious friend." She whispered, plucking a pure white rose from my hair. I felt myself begin to blush. The tips of my ears were tingling, I fell back and rested my head on a twisted root sticking out from the ground. The pillow was uncomfortable but the decreased elevation helped to hide my face from Keine. "And what do you see me as, Mokou?"

"Well…I see you as you. Keine is Keine in my mind." I clenched my lip between my teeth. "That's a good thing." I added as an afterthought. Keine didn't seem satisfied but before she could speak there was a cry. I looked up to investigate the source of the cry, but it was only Sorata screaming because he was being 'stabbed' by one of his friends. Their role-play was always top notch.

"They really do grow up so fast." Keine gazed wistfully at her students, her eyes travelling over every one of them separately. Her emotions were locked behind her eyes and I could only have a guess as to her thoughts.

"Well it's only natural, they're humans after all." I told her after a while of pensive silence. "They live short lives, it's just how it is."

"Mm. Their lives are short. I've taught some of these kids' grandparents. It's always the same. One day they're looking up at me with wide eyes calling me Sensei. Then suddenly I'm looking up at them as adults working hard to fulfil their lives. Then they get married, have kids and I teach their kids just like I taught them. It sometimes makes me feel lonely, that they're moving on while I just stay here." She turned to me, her eyes wet with waiting tears.

"It's alright, Keine," I said holding my hand over hers, trying to soother her. I understand. I do."

"It makes me so happy." She cracked open another smile, but not the kind I was expecting. It was a genuine, happy smile. "I love watching them grow, I love watching them surpass every milestone, I love to see them living."

That's when I remembered, with a hollow wrench. That Keine was different from me, that she was...different. "You really love humans don't you?"

Solemnly she nodded. "I do."

A kid tumbled falling hard. There was a large, painful looking gash on her knee where the rocks had dug into her skin. The girl looked at the injury, trying to act brave. Suddenly everyone was around her, asking her useless questions. Overwhelmed, she burst into tears. Dropping my hair Keine quickly got up and told all the kids to move away. Wasting no time she closed the distance between her and the injured girl. After a quick examination Keine picked the girl up and ran inside to the medical bay.

I debated on whether or not to follow but eventually decided I'd probably be a bother. I lay in the shade thinking over what Keine had said over how she loved to watch humans grow. It seemed… I was alone in my resentment to the short lived. I was…

"Hey, Mokou! Please come play with us! We need you to be the monster!" Sorata yelled at me, oblivious to the fact I was trying to rest. I grumbled my denial. "Pleeeease, Mokou."

With a long sigh I pushed myself up onto my feet and dusted myself off. "Fine."

...

**'In time everything grows brittle and weak, but my love for you only grows stronger.'**

The moon shone one giant flawless circle in the sky, ray of sullen light painting the night landscape in a surreal gleam. Its light was welcome both to the untiring gazer and to the night time explorer.

Maybe if I weren't so biased I'd actually find the moon delightful like so many others. But to me the full moon wasn't a beautiful sight to look upon. The reason? Well there were two mainly. The first reason was that whenever I looked at the moon I was reminded of someone who used to live up there and wound up on earth, someone intolerably horrid. Some even called her the Princess of the Moon.

The second reason… well on nights of the full moon, when its light shone the greatest Keine became… wild. It wasn't wholly unpleasant but it did become tiresome after some time. During the fool moon her hakutaku blood boiled over and she partook in some obvious changes. A large pair of horns grew out from the top of her head, climbing several inches towards the sky. She also grew a large brown fluffy tail, which was troublingly soft.

It wasn't her exterior changes that were so much of a bother to me, in fact I thought it was rather endearing. But her personality change was what I worried about. She'd become impulsive, acting on fickle whims and her usual stance of thought out actions was completely abolished. She wasn't uncontrollable however and if she set her mind to doing something she wouldn't stop until she was done. Then she'd pick something else to do at random and the process would start over

At first, Keine had locked herself up during the full moon. She'd do it so that she might not be distracted or seen. Then she'd pour her all her abundant energy in to completing tasks and filling out forms for her teachings, ever diligent scholar that she was. She was also afraid of how she might act around anyone and that they might come to hate her for her rambunctious transformation.

I say originally however because ever since a certain event a while back, her full moon activities have changed slightly. It was admittedly my fault. One full moon I ignored Keine's instructions of leaving her alone. That's when I accidentally stumbled into her fully transformed. In anger, surprise, or just for the hell of it, Keine attacked me. I won…barely.

Any injuries I might have suffered I didn't even notice, which meant that probably all my limbs were still attached. I was more concerned about Keine who I had tried so hard to calm down, whilst trying not to injure her. At the end of the battle the portion of the forest our fight had chosen as its stage was scarred and burnt. I reached out for Keine to help her up, but she bolted like a frightened dog, tail right between her legs.

That led to an hour long search for Keine. I'd never searched for a lost dog before but I imagined it must have been something quite similar. It was well past midnight when I finally found her deep inside the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. Her clothes were in tatters, both from the fight and from branches and bushes which decided to have a go at her during her hasty retreat.

She was clutching her red-ribboned house hat with one hand while the other tried to hold up her threadbare dress. When she saw me she burst into tears. She pleaded a million times for me not to hate her and apologised a million times more. Thing was I felt just about as guilty as she did. It was my entire fault after all. Keine wouldn't hear my side of the story though; anything I would try to say was quickly overshadowed by her loud crying.

After she calmed down enough to listen I assured her I wasn't angry and led her through the forest and to my house for a bath. I scrubbed the dirt from her skin, washed the filth from her hair and did a rough job of tending to her wounds. I'd learnt a lot from watching Keine tend to me and so I was rather impressed with the job I did. The reversal of roles felt rather nice and fresh. It was pleasant looking after someone; it left you feeling gratified and warm.

"Are you alright now?" I remember asking while handing her a loose fitting change of clothes. The conversation was strangely easy to recall.

"Yeah." She responded pulling the nightgown over her head. She smoothed the cresses with flushed cheeks. "Sorry."

Her tone was morose and she wasn't able to look me in the eyes. I sighed scratching the back of my head and considered what would be best to say. I decided to be frank. "I've told you already to stop whining. I'm not mad and I don't hate you. It's my fault anyway."

"B-but I hurt you! And I should have at least told you the reason why you must leave me alone during full moons. It's just that…I was worried you might think I was…ugly."

I held up my arms, trying to show that beneath the scratches and tears of my clothing there were no longer any wounds. "There's no way you could've seriously hurt me, and even if you did you wouldn't have been able to kill me." I told her. I put my arms down again and gave her a quick appraising look. "Maybe you should've told me, but I would've come to see you during a full moon anyway. Besides the transformation is better than most. In fact it's kind of cute."

Keine's tail began to wag at that, "Really?" She piped up suddenly like a shy teen. Her flush deepened and her mood seemed to increase slightly. She brushed a lock of her silvery green hair behind an ear, her crimson eyes meeting mine.

"Absolutely," I agreed. "And tonight's been one of the most interesting nights of my life. It's been strangely fun."

Then Keine exploded with an abrupt shout of: "Mokou!" She tackled me, toppling me over and wrapping her arms tightly around my waist, forcing the air from my lungs.

"Keine! Let go!" I reprimanded her, trying and not succeeding to pry her arms off of my waist. Her tail was wagging back and forth as she nuzzled into my chest, forcing herself between my breasts. "Come on, let go!"

"N-O."

Maybe it was the slow, deliberate way she said it or the predatory tilt of her eyes looking down at me. Or, how if I lowered my gaze only a few inches I could watch the sweat from her hot skin trail down her neck and between the valley of her breasts. One of these, or all combined might have been the reason I stopped my struggling and shut my mouth.

"Good." Keine said, rolling out each syllable for as long as her breath would allow. "It's your fault for disturbing me whilst I was working. So, to make up for it," she slid up my body, causing my skin to tingle. With her breath tickling my ear she said, "Let me hold you tight."

Unable to protest I gave in to her whims. I turned my head away trying to hide the blush crawling onto my face. "Okay." That night my sleep was long and deep, comfortable and warm. Safe between the iron hold of Keine's arms.

Now every full moon since that night, Keine always finds her way towards me. She no longer shuts herself away inside her home. Call it impulse but she searches for me. I now expect every full moon to be a loud and eventful night.

_Lucky me…_

Yet, despite all the negative points I've been talking about, I still liked Keine the way she was on full moons. It was a new side to her, one that continually peaked my interest. I felt special getting to be able to see the side of her she tries to hide away.

Tonight Keine and I were drinking. The idea of mixing Hakutaku Keine and alcohol was probably not my brightest but she had insisted. Besides I'd always wanted a drinking buddy that could keep up with me, Keine tried some nights but she'd always quickly go down. However Keine transformed had matched me for every sip that I drank and looked raring to continue on for the rest of the night as well. Already I could feel the slight buzz and loss of self that indicated I was now tipsy.

"But nobody cares about history! They either say: 'but oh it's so boring!' or 'history isn't important.' and some feel that they don't need a teacher to teach their children. That if it's history then they'll just go ahead and teach them themselves!" The cup Keine was drinking from spilled as it was being sloshed from side to side in rhythm with Keine's verbose rant. I had heard this complaint already but still nodded in agreement with every word. "So now if I want my school to remain popular I have to teach other subjects as well. Tsch, I'm telling you it's too much work."

Keine tipped her head back, downing what was left of her alcohol. I matched her and we refilled our cups. Keine's cheeks were red from the alcohol and her eyelids now began to droop slightly, like curtains half shut. "I agree with you there, history is probably the only thing I like to learn about. Nowadays people would rather waste their time reading useless things, like that Tengu's newspaper."

"What was with her latest article on me anyway!? 'The Were-Haku-Otaku'? What's an Otaku? The article made it seem like I had no life! As if all I did was coop myself inside all day. I do so much more! I teach kids, I cook for you and me, I've got to clean and *hic* help manage the village."

"And she also had that picture of you when you woke up wearing my clothes. Then all those rumours started." I shook my head and silently cursed the blasted Tengu within my thoughts. "I should cook her and use her meat to make some yakitori. I'll have people lining up at my stall till the end of the bamboo forest wanting to taste my Tengu yakitori!"

"That was because *hic* the night before we were drinking *hic* and we said we'd go a night in each other's shoes. It was a school night too and I woke late so I *hic* panicked…" A strong breeze blew suddenly and as if she were made of paper Keine fell over onto my lap. I had to reach quickly to stop her cup from spilling all over her dress. "You smell burnt." Keine commented, now fully drunk.

_Ha, there goes my competition_. One minute she's with me no wear for the wind and the next she's crumbling with every gust. "Jeez, done already?" Keine curled her tail over her leg and onto her lap. The fluffy appendage swayed lazily from side to side, unable to control the urge I reached for her tail with both hands and began to stroke it. It was soft.

"That *hic* feels good." She mumbled. Her cheeks were heavily flushed and Keine purred her satisfaction. "I'm feeling sleepy."

"Do you want to go to bed? I'll lay out your futon. It's about time I started heading back too_." So soft_, I thought as I continued to stroke her tail.

"No, I'll stay up with you."

"You don't have to push yourself you know?"

"I'm staying up with you." Keine said flatly. Keine could get stubborn, a drunk hakutaku Keine? _I don't want to even know_. I shrugged.

_Whatever._

After a moment of silence in which I finished my last cup of sake the drunken Hakutaku spoke up in a slow, sleepy tone. "Say, Mokou, do you know what the student's call you?"

I could think of a lot of names they might use to describe me. None of them were very appealing or amusing. I sighed and shook my head, not wanting to waste breath on a guess. "What?"

Keine turned on my lap so that her lidded eyes were looking straight at me; her arm motioned clumsily to grasp a cheek in her hand. Her touch was tepid, sweet. "Sensei's wife," her voice was heavy with sleep and bashfully timid. "My wife they say." She giggled.

I hoped that in the poor lighting Keine wouldn't be able to see the red stain of my cheeks. My heart skipped a beat as she started to giggle more and more. Soon I started to chuckle as well, and cupped her cheeks between my hands. _She is so drunk._ Then with sudden force Keine flipped our positions, she held down my arms above my head and lay down on top of me pressing me to the floor.

"Hey, Mokou." Keine said as she started to lean forward. Her silver hair fell over my face, a strand of green highlight tickling my nose. She continued to lean forward, her breathing was heavy and smelt strongly of alcohol. Her face was centimetres from mine now, her voracious red eyes piercing into me. I froze in panic, heart beating in a strange, unfamiliar way.

My mind began running around in frantic circles. _What is she doing? Why do I feel so hot? I can't think right. She's so close. Why can't I move?_ As I wondered these things Keine's face only came closer and my heart felt likely to break through my chest. Then Keine chuckled and deposited a quick, chaste kiss on my forehead. "Gooooodniiiiiight." She managed to say before rolling over and starting to sleep.

I remained motionless for several more seconds, before finally pushing myself off the floor. I lay out Keine's futon and half guided, half dragged her into it. Once she was tucked in I shoved my hands between my pockets and with a look over my shoulder to check that Keine was sleeping soundly I made my way home. In the silence of the night and my head still buzzing from all the alcohol, I wondered.

Is my face as red as my pants?

...

**'Take time to be sure, but be sure not to take too much time'**

When you're in love you can't think straight, that's what I'd concluded. You start looking at the other person, thinking things you've never thought before. Your body reacts just as stupidly as your thoughts do. Suddenly you blush at the slightest contact, suddenly when you look that person in the eye, your heart can't help but skip a beat. And suddenly, their smiles, their laughter, their happiness becomes yours.

Everything just happened. One morning, one ordinary day just like any other, your world changes. And in my case, the change is frightening. You wake up with thoughts of that person, you have this unexplainable impulse to see them, to talk and say nothing to them. You just want to be with them, and when you're with them you start to notice the first changes.

_Was she always this pretty?_ You wonder as she smiles, brighter than the rising sun. _Were her eyes always so appealing?_ You ask yourself as your arms become shaky and you start to sweat. _Did her smell always give me this sense of peace?_ You think as she embraces you.

Then your thoughts start going awry, well more so than they already are. You hug them just a little tighter, just a little longer not wanting to let go. You watch them, study their lips as they contort to form words, watch them curve over every morsel of food and for a split second your mind wonders_: What would a kiss feel like?_ Your nights are colder than usual, lonelier and you realise you want them with you; you want them to keep you warm. You want to love them.

Tired and bothered I lay awake in the middle of the night, still thinking over that night a couple days back when Keine kissed me, on the cheek. _It was just the cheek, _I told myself. _It means nothing._ Except it did. To me.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _I pressed my hands around my head and shook it furiously, trying to get her out of my thoughts. With a sigh I rolled over in my futon, reaching my hand out, groping in the darkness for the body that wasn't there. _Keine…_

There was light rain outside forming late night mist, leaving the night air fresh and crispy. With a growl and an angry hand I clutched the blanket and threw it off of me. My skin rose in goose bumps as the chilly night air greeted me. Before I could convince myself otherwise I grabbed a quick change of clothes, threw over a plain white shirt and shuffled into my usual pair of red pants. I slipped my feet into my boots and without an umbrella I opened my door and walked out into the drizzling rain.

_It's all her fault. Hers! Hers!_ I headed to the nearest exit of the Bamboo Forest, my destination still unclear. If I wanted to think I wanted to be alone, if I wanted to be alone I should be walking the other way, deeper into the forest and away from people. _So turn around. _I never did.

_There's got to be something wrong with me. Do I really have romantic feelings for Keine? Were these really my true feelings?_ _Would she love me back, even though I'm a woman? _These were my thoughts, and they terrified me. If this was truly love_, that_ kind of love what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to approach it? If Keine had never gotten drunk…if she hadn't kissed me maybe then I wouldn't be suffering this inner turmoil. I could have gone on with my everyday life, I was happy with the way it was. I was happy for the first time in a long time and now…Now I'm scared.

I was scared because there's no way she could return my feelings. Besides the most obvious reason I just wasn't the right person for Keine and I never would be. I can't change who I am, what I am. There's just no way she'd feel the same way about me, right?

What had first attracted me to Keine? I'd asked this question before and never found a satisfying answer. Perhaps I was lonely and I liked the attention she was giving m. She was funny and sweet, she cooked really delicious food as well. There was also that she looked at me like I was normal, worried about me as if I could actually die. _Idiot._

In Keine I'd wanted someone to share my misery with. Kaguya was happy with this immortality. Not me. Never me. Kaguya has that Lunarian, who do I have? I have no one. That's why I came to Gensokyo, to look for Youkai, to look for creatures that might possibly share my resentment towards the short lived, who could feel the grief I did of never being able to love someone for fear of losing them to time.

In Keine I'd maybe hoped to find that companion, someone to share that pain. But Keine was different…Keine loved humans, she loved the living. I had no-one to share the pain with, but really I didn't care about that rather, I was jealous of them.

I am nothing Keine loves.

Not a man despite how I may act, not a human, not living. So there's no way Keine could ever love me back, she might love me but, my love and hers are different. That knowledge sometimes made it difficult to breathe, it felt like my heart was contained in an iron grip. Somewhere along it all Keine plucked my heart from within my chest, despite my hoping not, despite my fear.

I don't want to love her, I realised, because if I do, the pain, the inevitable hurt will be unbearable. _Yet I want to! I want to I do. But…But… I can't, I mustn't_. If I try to pursue this love I might lose Keine forever and I don't want that. That would pain me even more. I want to be with her, by her side even if only as a friend because, if these feelings are genuine, all I want is to have as much happiness as I can with her, for as longs as possible. I don't want this platonic love, yet I want it to stay. I want to push it further, to take the next step but the fear of becoming too close and then losing her is suffocating.

At some point the rain went from light drizzle to thunderstorm torrential. The rain pelted at me with what felt like a thousand tiny stones per second, but I welcomed it. The pain was a distraction from my whirlwind of contradicting thoughts. I don't know how many minutes passed but soon I found myself at the door of Keine's home. My dripping was causing a noticeable puddle to form by my feet.

I knocked. I didn't expect her to be up, the only way she would be is if she were having trouble sleeping, or she was pulling another all-nighter. Whatever the reason at this unreasonable hour her door opened and Keine stood there to greet me, her disheveled hair standing up in tufts all around her beautiful head.

I wanted to confess, right then and there with Keine still drowsy from sleep. But I was panicky; I lacked the courage both to accept my feelings and to share them. "Hey." I greeted, perhaps a little bit too casually. I offered Keine a cheesy smile, "Quite a storm huh?"

"What the heck are you doing out at this hour in this rain! You're drenched Mokou." Keine shouted and I flinched at the disapproval I felt rolling off of her in unrestrained waves. "You're going to get sick!" She yelled again, tugging at my sleeve and bringing me inside.

"Y-Yeah about that…" I quickly searched for an excuse, "Well you see someone got stuck in the forest, so I decided to help them out. You know me! Best guide around!" I puffed my chest in pride, the motion sent splashes of water over Keine and her house. "Oh and I don't get sick."

"I don't care what the reason is," Keine declared forcing me to my knees; she grabbed a towel from one of her cupboards and began to dry my hair. Her touch excited me. "Honestly, Mokou. I'm not going to shout at you for helping someone but think about yourself too, okay? Worry a little about yourself."

"Rather than worrying over me you should be happy that I chose to come to you when I needed shelter." I said to her as she took the towel from my hair several seconds later.

"That's just because you have no other friends, Mokou." I winced, her frankness stung. "Now hurry up and undress. We need to get those wet clothes off you." Keine turned around and exited the room, I assumed she was headed for the kitchen. I followed her orders, looking over my shoulder as I stripped to make sure Keine wasn't looking. In my current state of mind I might just die of embarrassment. _That'll be something._

I changed into a pair of dry clothes Keine always kept spare. I was never really cold, I'd kept a constant layer of heat over my skin so that I wouldn't feel the cold, but I wouldn't be telling Keine that. "All done." The smell of freshly cooked rice stew greeted me when I poked my head into the kitchen, the aroma caused my stomach to grumble.

Dressed in an apron and looking over her shoulder Keine made the picture perfect image of a hardworking housewife. "I thought you might want some warm food." She told me as she removed the pot and began to dish up the food into two bowls. "I've just warmed up the supper I had tonight, but if you'd like please have." I nodded and gave Keine a thumbs-up, expressing my interest. She grabbed the two bowls and headed out towards the smaller dining room.

"Let's eat by the fire." I suggested. "I'll get it going." It only took one fireball to get the wood crackling, the smoke rising and the heat going. I graciously accepted the bowl from Keine and made myself comfortable next to her. The food was hot, I'd burnt my tongue on the first bite and gotten scolded by Keine, but it was as delicious as I expected.

"Does it taste alright, Mokou?" Keine asked me as she blew on her spoon, her eyes were on me waiting for my response. I gulped down the spoonful I had in my mouth and gave her a big cheery grin.

"It's better than alright. It's amazing!" _Just like you,_ I almost said. The fire was fiercely hot and the rain continued to fall undeterred. I wished for the passion of the fire, the determination of the rain. Yet whenever I tried to say something to Keine, about how she looked or how she made me feel my tongue became a big useless lump. All I could manage out were these staple comments and even that was a challenge. Yet I enjoyed this feeling of tense closeness.

"I see. Glad you like it." Keine had finished her bowl by now and placed it carefully on the floor, she dished herself and I another bowl each. "The company's great too." She remarked with a satisfied sigh. "Are you feeling alright, Mokou? Are you sure you're not sick?"

"No, no. It's just…I'm really happy right now." I told her with a bashful smile. Yes, sitting beside Keine, her caring over me and eating her delicious food. This was simple happiness. This was my simple love. I couldn't deny that. "Hey, Keine," I began my voice uncharacteristically timorous, "Do you think that maybe, I can eat dinner with you every night?"

Keine looked at me sideways, her cheeks filled with rice. She swallowed her food down with a graceful gulp. "Every night?" She asked, her tone was filled with doubt and I scratched my head in embarrassment.

"You don't have to. I mean just l-like if it's not too much work or anything."

Keine frowned and her forehead crinkled the way it always did when she was thinking about something. "Well, okay I guess. It's easier cooking for two anyway. But you have to bring food every second day then and you're doing the dishes. If you agree then I'm fine with it. It's nice to be with people when you're eating, you know how they say conversation is the tastiest spice!"

"I'll do it then!" I agreed with eager enthusiasm.

Keine smiled then and my heart took its cue of forgetting to beat properly. "Great!"

When neither of us could stop smiling for the rest of the night and our laughter soon overpowered the rain, I realised that, yes. I was in love with Keine. My feelings were real, but they'd stay where they were because there was no way in hell I'd want to ruin this.

Cross my heart and hope to die.

...

**'There is only one thing that lasts longer than time and that is true love.'**

The air whisked after me, whistling past my ears in a high scream sounding the excitement I felt boiling over in my heart. The colours of the world flashed by in instants as all the shapes of the sharp rock face melded together as one. There was only what lay beneath me, the crystal water so clear it seemed to be a pool of liquid diamond. As I reached the cool water my hands broke in, melding a path for the rest of my body to follow, smooth as silk the rest of me entered slipping into the water with lithe grace.

My sight exploded and the underwater world greeted me, there was a momentary panic as the cold of the water reached my lungs like an icy hand had reached inside me and was trying to force crush my lungs. I burst from the water gasping for breath as the air within me escaped in a laugh. I brushed the mop of white hair from my forehead and perched my head to the sky, using one hand to block the sun's light as my other waved at Keine leaning over the edge of the cliff. "Jump in! The water's perfect!"

"Mokou, I'm not so sure about this!" Keine shouted as she gave the drop a dubious glance. The place I led Keine to, was one of the many hidden sanctuaries that I had discovered in my years. It was a rock pool hidden within the mountain that loomed above the bamboo forest. Although there was no path I knew the mountains almost as well as I knew the forest, all the shortcuts, all the secret caves, coves and shallow meadows. As far as my knowledge extended, I was the only person aware of this place, and now Keine.

The place was in a word, breathtaking. The rock face closed over on all four sides with trees peaking over the edges of the top. Their canopies extended over the gap of the edges creating a bizarre leafy roof with gaps for sparkling rays of sunshine to hit the water and illuminate the dark rock beneath. As the day progressed the sunlight would catch on the rocks, climbing ever higher along the earthen brown surface. When the sun was setting it illuminated the earth in a placid shade of orange. The water would then reflect the colour of the edges, taking on the same subtle shade of sun-set orange; the rippling water seemed like fire, flickering and alive.

"Don't think, Keine, just jump! It's not that bad once you hit the water!" I kicked back my legs and lay floating on my back, my hair collected around me blanketing the back of my body. "You don't want to miss this!"

"What if the water's cold? What if there's a rock where I jump? What would happen if I hit the water then forget how to swim!"

"I'll warm it u p if it's too cold for you, there are precisely zero rocks and if you forget how to swim I'll be here to save you!"

There was silence and I took a moment to sigh mentally. I thought once I'd jumped in Keine would just follow suit, but she hesitated and she made excuses and she was slowly talking her way out of it. "You need to take a leap of faith, Keine! You don't want to regret anything later, trust me!"

"But, Mokou, I don't like heights, this is scary."

_Just yesterday you were up on a three-storey roof fixing a leak,_ I thought bitterly.

"Just do it! If you're scared then don't worry I'm right here, you have to jump in to reach me though." I smiled a cheeky smile; I stretched my hand out and made to grab Keine. The small Keine within my fist was soon crushed. "I'm waiting for you. Come on, I'm waiting for you to reach me."

It all happened so quickly I had only a few instants to register what exactly had occurred. Keine seemed ready to leap, but as she motioned to jump her foot caught on the hem of her dress, her hat went flying as she toppled forward, arms outstretched and flailing wildly. _Why didn't you take your clothes off!_

Without a thought I rushed to try and catch Keine, I swam underneath her before I realised I couldn't touch the bottom of the pool. The second after my realisation Keine fell on top of me. Her forehead met mine and the thud of our skulls kissing echoed off the walls setting birds to flight in the sky. As I started to sink I wondered what death by drowning would feel like, I hadn't experienced that one yet. Though if I was stuck at the bottom of the pool when I resurrected wouldn't I just drown again?

I wasn't left long to wonder as I felt a hand desperately try to grab at me, with a shock of realization I remembered Keine. I ignored the thunderous pounding of my head and clasped Keine's pale wrist. Her dress soaked with water added weight and drag to her making it an effort to pull her out of the water and lay her on top the hard rock shore. Keine sputtered and coughed the water from her lungs, then with a deep tired moan she collapsed on her back and looked likely to sleep.

"That was a mess," Keine commented drily, her mouth curled into a small, evil smile and a crackly laugh rattled from her chest. "I thought I was going to die."

"Whose fault is it for jumping in with a dress, I told you to take your clothes off when you jumped in." I reminded Keine as I rubbed at the bump growing on my forehead. My clothes had been mostly discarded when I took the first leap, currently I was clad only in knee-high pants similar to the usual I normally would wear and I was completely naked on my upper half save for the sarashi wound tightly around my breasts.

"B-but…" Keine stuttered as she gave me an appraising look, I fought in vain to keep the blush from rising on my cheeks. "I didn't bring anything for swimming; I'll be in my underwear…"

"How is underwear different from normal swimming clothes? They're both practically the same thing, one layer of clothing covering the important bits."

"They're not the same thing!"

"Are so."

"Not!"

"Are."

"It's different."

"Nope." I held my gaze, not flinching from the knives of Keine's intense eyes. We stared at each other like that for what must have been more than a minute before Keine finally averted her gaze with a sigh. "Come on, just get in. Think of it as a bath. When you go to the onsen you're fully naked. This is only half of that. If it's too cold I've got my fire." I formed a flame in my open palm, the edges of the flame licked at the open air as I continuously fed it life.

After a few moments Keine nodded, swaying to the wisdom of my words, "Alright." She rose and as she did so I noticed the way in which her wet clothes stuck tightly to her form, outlining the curves of her hips and enviously abundant breasts. "Have you seen my hat anywhere, Mokou? Mokou?"

"Ah! Umm," My head flew back and forth as I tried to locate the hat, forcing myself not to continue looking at Keine, "I think I saw it fly somewhere off in that direction. I'll go fetch it."

I climbed over the edge of the pool, splashing into the shallower pool that lay below. The water in the pool was flowing around in circles, a collection of leaves was growing around the middle and the water was murky from settling dirt. I searched around the smaller pool and found the hat nestled into plant muck. "Found it!"

As I yanked the cap out I destroyed the wall of gunk which had been acting as a dam wall for the small pool. The water began to flow again, rushing through the opening I'd created and slowly the pool began to clean itself.

I climbed back up to the larger pool holding my trophy high in one hand. Keine had laid her dress across one of the rocks that received the most sunlight, I caught Keine in the corner of my eye submerged up to her nose in the water. She was blowing bubbles trying to imitate some frightening water monster, I think. I missed her changing, I thought guiltily to myself as I placed Keine's hat next to her clothes. "I think autumn's on the way, I saw some leaves falling into the pool below and they were all red and orange."

"Surprise!" Dripping hands grabbed at each other as lean arms secured themselves around my waist. My feet flew from under me as I was pulled backwards with force. The water met me from behind and soon consumed me in its wet embrace. I thrashed around underwater trying to escape from Keine's iron grip but sadly to no avail.

I took an instant to heat up my body, raising it to boiling temperature. Keine let go with a yelp and I used the opportunity to elude myself of her grasp. Then I went on the offensive. Shouting a war cry I jumped at Keine trying to get a secure hold either around her head or her waist. We tussled around in the water for a while longer; I quickly gained the advantage over her and was holding Keine underneath the water. Victory was mine and it tasted sweet, then the pain hit me.

"Ow!" I brought my hands to my face and examined them for wounds. Two perfectly round sores lay in the middle of my palms, just then Keine burst from the water horns atop her head and attacked me once again.

I couldn't bring my hands up in time and she had a tight vice grip on me, it only took a few more seconds before I was forced to admit defeat, "Enough! Enough!" I cried whilst a smile grew on my face, "You win, you win."

"Ha!" Keine exclaimed, releasing me from her grip. She held her chest up triumphantly, also covered in a sarashi. "So you admit defeat?"

"Yeah, yeah." I rotated my arm, stretching the joint and searching for signs of any other injuries. "Stupid horns."

"In history the winner always punishes the loser, demanding tribute as a sign of superiority. Thus as I won, you need to be punished, Mokou, for taking up arms against your liege."

"You're the one who attacked me first! It was self defence, self defence!"

"Uh-uh, the winners write history, The great battle between Phoenix and Hakutaku was only witnessed by the combatants! Therefore I can say what I want and all you can do is agree with what I say and meet any and _all_ demands I force upon you."

Not feeling up to arguing with the insane history nut I only bowed my head and agreed, "Alright, whatever. What do you want?" _Be reasonable._ I had an instant to regret my immediate obedience as I saw a dangerous spark erupt in Keine's smooth almond eyes.

"Full spa experience!" The were-hakutaku exclaimed raising a pointed finger to the sky, "A teacher's life is hard you know and I could really do with some relaxation, not to mention my muscles are all stiff from the climb up here. I could really do with a soothing afternoon serviced by you." Keine winked and laughed demurely.

"I'm talking massages, hot baths, the works."

"Spa?" The world hung uselessly in my mouth, I had no knowledge as to how to provide 'the works' either. "So… what exactly?"

Keine sighed and laid her hands on her hips beneath the water, "For starters make the pool warmer, then you can start with the massage."

"Right…" Still unsure I performed the first step, I created two balls of fire, one in each palm and lowered them into the water. I fed the flames more energy and started to heat up the water around me, I moved in circles around the pool as I did so heating the edges before proceeding towards the middle. From there I pumped even more into the fire and the flames tripled in size, then tripled again. The heat from the centre spread outwards until soon the entire pool was releasing layers of hot, foggy steam.

I wiped the sweat that was collecting on my brow and removed it with a lazy flick of my fingers, "Ooh, nice," Keine moaned in satisfaction as she sunk her body beneath the hot water. The sun had passed its highest point and was now gradually making its way further down the skyline, the shadows growing as the sun sunk.

"And now?" Keine half opened one eye and began to hum a tune, she didn't respond and instead lay with her head back enjoying the warm water. I decided to sink down and also enjoy the soothing warmth for a moment.

"Now it's the massage!" Rising suddenly along with the steam, Keine stepped out of the pool, droplets of water cascading down her body in a light reflective blanket. She padded forward to where the rock was at its flattest and stretched out her body, dipping her hands in the water. With a lazy drawl she murmured her commands to me, "Come on, I'm waiting."

In this instant Keine resembled a lazy cat basking in the sun, begging with purrs for a scratch and a rub, I had always been weak to the charms of animals, doubly so when Keine was the animal. With downcast eyes I ventured from the pool until I was standing on top of Keine.

"Well, get started," she purred and closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Right," Hesitantly I stood with each of my feet on separate sides of Keine, dripping warm droplets onto the outline of her back. Slowly, I lowered myself onto Keine, sitting on the curve between her hip and lower body. I spread my hands across her back, delighting in the simple touch.

I pushed Keine's hair off of her shoulder to fall on the ground below, revealing her neckline. With a tepid touch I trailed a finger over the contours of Keine's spine, tracing the path of various water droplets. "Time to start," I announced drawing my fingers to meet at the base of Keine's spine. From there I began my massage.

I pushed each individual finger into her flesh, moving away from the spine, my thumbs took up the original position of my fingers and pressed into the line of her spine. Maintaining pressure I moved my hands upwards and out, feeling for knots and tight muscles. As I reached the shoulders I lifted my fingers skyward, digging the base of my hand into the cleft of her shoulder blade. From there my palms fell down and took a firm grip of Keine's elfin neck kneading the muscle and skin in sensuous harmony.

"Wo-ow," my subject exclaimed breathless, "you're pretty good at this."

I gave Keine a small smile she most likely couldn't see, "Thanks." I leaned forward, my palms flat on her upper back pushing the majority of my weight onto her. I felt the knot lying underneath her right shoulder and dug into it with all my weight, riding my palm over it again and again. Keine gasped in sudden sensation and my heart beat faster for an instant. Keine's skin was soft and pleasant to the touch, smooth and nigh flawless.

"Ooooooh, that's ittt…" Keine moaned, low and lungless. Her body was lean and lightly muscled, her lack of fat making the muscles of her back cut and defined. Her shoulders were stiff as well as her neck, those two places are where I focused most of my attention. I gained an intense satisfaction from the act whenever Keine's voice escaped to reveal her pleasure, or when she gasped in blissful pain, but there was also a sense of guilt, in the knowledge that I was bringing her pain.

"Y'know, Mokou," Keine began as I forced four pointed fingers into the core of her neck, "I think," my thumbs fell down to force the muscle of her neck into my fingers, "think that you're changing."

"How so?" I craned my neck in befuddlement as I rubbed at the knots in Keine's neck.

"You're starting to notice things that you weren't able to notice before. You're starting to care about things that previously you never even spared a second thought for," She shook her legs and squirmed underneath me when I reached a particularly tight knot.

"Is that so?" To stop her squirming I moved away from that one to work on a smaller one, "I don't think there's anything that I particularly care about more than I did before though."

"You wouldn't know it's all the small things you do, all the unconscious things. Like noticing the seasons, or the weather, picking a flower or watching a bug, even the way you talk. It's all changed." My thumbs were beginning to throb lightly from overuse so I rested them for a moment, only lightly rubbing up and down her back, rejoicing in the sweet, easy contact. _Keine is beautiful._

"Before you never cared about anything, it's like you were just waiting for time to pass, you had no interest in anything and just did what you did. I got the impression you were running away from something I couldn't see." _That's partly true._

My hands lay lame and unmoving now my mind too engrossed by Keine, I felt drawn in to what she was saying and it evoked thought within me. I tried to remember me before Keine, but it was all just blank.

"Now though… you seem happier. More grounded and aware of what's around you, you're interested in the world around you!"

_Close, but not it_. "Keine," I spoke in a slow, ponderous voice. I brought my hands to rest on Keine's lower back pushing down, "have you ever thought, that possibly," I moved my hands forward, sending my body gliding after them slithering like a snakes. Keine gasped at the sensation as I dug my hands into her back.

"You're the one tying me down." My body was pressed to Keine's, the cloth of my breasts running over her skin, the skin of my stomach kissing hers in fiery heat, "and that," my voice was a whisper now, husky and coated sickly sweet. I brought my mouth to tickle Keine's ear. "I'm not more interested in the world around me but, in the world around you."

...

**'Love is the emblem of eternity, it confounds all notion of time, effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.' – Madame de Stael**

Time, the indefinite continued process of existences past, present and future. All regarded as one.

Immortality. Eternal life, the ability to live forever.

Eternity, infinite unending time.

_I'm afraid of time. I'm afraid of finding love. I'm afraid of living any longer._

_But I've found something. Something that scares me but something I want. Something I know won't last forever._

_That's why while it's here I want to be happy, I want to forget everything I've ever worried about. If in eternity I can have just this small amount of time with this precious something, I can go on._

_Eternity was my sole lonesome companion, because of it I became cut off from the world. Secluded in my own little reality, separate from mortal beings afflicted by the passing seconds, minutes and hours I became an indefinite existence. Everything I used to watch grow, live and die becomes so fickle. The mightiest tree's standing leagues higher than the rest, their leaves sun kissed and flourishing are soon reduced to shells, hollow and lifeless, lacking all of the qualities I once gazed so enviously upon._

_I'm aware that is was all my fault and I don't entirely regret it. I only regret not realizing how lonely I'd become._

_Within eternity everything changes, yet I who am immortal remain the same, unafraid of the hidden plague, the silent killer, the inevitable reaper. It all becomes silly, a joke. As an immortal I gain an inevitable arrogance. Nothing can truly kill me, everything else seems so weak and inconstant, so perishable._

_Dynasties I thought would last forever crumbled. They used to be so threatening, so imposing._

_I watch as time withers everything down, eroding away the great and powerful until they're nothing more than dust, to be blown away and lost forever in the wind. Their remains are deposited thousands of metres away, becoming foundations for newer, greater spectacles. All of which I will watch inevitably fall victim to the never-ending process of attrition and rebirth which affects all living things._

_Am I really alive?_

_No, by becoming immortal I removed myself from the cycle of life. A sin. I denied my mortal soul, my fate. I denied myself of life. A contradiction to what I wanted, the inverse of what I expected. I become a husk, alive in body, dead in soul. I cannot live my life anymore for I forgot how to live. For living is knowing death will unavoidably meet you, it's fearing the unstoppable, embracing the inevitable yet fighting passionately with all your strength to delay it._

_I sinned aware of what I was doing, ignorant of the consequences._

_I cheated. I broke the rules of life and now I suffer the consequences. I can no longer love, for all those I do die. I become ostracized by those who fear that which they do not know. Change in living things is expected, why don't I change? I'm a demon, a devil, a monster._

_I never wanted to be one. I just couldn't help it. Death was so terrifying to me._

_I became unable to participate in society. I became an observer to events I can't care to change. Time I realised, is all about perspective. Seconds can be hours, years can be minutes. At some point it all just blends together in a hazy swirl of rising suns and moons. Years fly by in instants, everything dies just as quick. And I am left, alone in my eternal torment. I can't remember yesterday, can't distinguish past from present, present from future. Time all becomes one._

_I am an undying forever existing entity, taking part in nothing and witnessing everything, containing histories of days no-one remembers, truths that none have uncovered._

_I would trade it all just for a chance to not feel alone_

"Mmm, hah," the sleeping body beside me moaned delicately, lips slightly parted. _Well, that's how I used to feel. Most of that's gone now. But I fear losing you, I'm scared of you leaving me, Keine._ We were resting side to side, cuddled into a small cave whilst we waited out the sudden shower of rain. The fire spit and crackled keeping our bodies warm and uniting our shadows in dance on the walls and ceiling.

I rolled my by now dry clothes into a ball. Then as gently and smoothly as I could I turned around, grabbing a hold of Keine and carefully lowering the sleeping girl onto the floor. I placed her head on the ball of clothes now acting as a makeshift pillow. I smiled and thoughtlessly stroked a stray wisp of her hair behind an ear.

I retracted my arm but as I did the sleeping Hakutaku whined and placed her fingers atop the back of my hand, keeping it there. I smiled in response of the thoughtless action, which mystifyingly left me feeling requited.

Acting on a moment of courage and calm serenity, I tended my lips towards hers, and tenderly kissed the sleeping beauty.

_I've found something a little like love. I'm afraid of it but I want it. The loneliness I felt is gone, but in its place is a new pain. One I'm sure might crush me._

_If you will love me, my life will all be worth it..._

**_FIRST PART END_**


	2. Part 2 - Keine, Drumming Doubts

**A/N****: Thanks again to Achariyth1 for beta-reading this chapter as well. You work miracles. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer:**** Touhou Project and all its affiliated characters are property of Team Shanghai Alice(ZUN). **

**Note:**** This fic contains lesbian/yuri/girl-on-girl/ content. If you are offended by such material I ask you to please stop reading here. **

Part Two: Keine, Drumming Doubts

'**What is love in history? Why, nothing more than an emotion used to permit atrocities.'**

What history often tries too hard to do is uncover the truth. A task that some stubbornly refuse to acknowledge is impossible. Too many years have passed, anyone who knew what might have been real is dead. All we have left are tales, documents and books. Things too easily subject to change by the very beings that create them.

History is filled with lies. Of victors glorifying themselves whilst disparaging their defeated enemies. Everyone sings songs of hunters, valiantly defeating the savage lion. Yet when a lion kills a human it is called slaughter. Until lions have their own historians, the hunt will always glorify the hunters. Such is the truth of history.

The life of a yeoman is plain, far too ordinary and uninteresting to consider to write about and as such parts of history will always be lost. When last was the history of a man who was born in a village that no longer exists, who lived in a house that no longer exists, next to a field that no longer exists, who fell in love with a woman who no longer exists, raised a family that no longer exists, then died, told?

History often overlooks the little things, often overlooks a certain unexplainable, uncontrollable emotion.

Poetry, is oft closer to true history than documentation is. For poetry acknowledges and identifies this force and notes its mortal affliction on the entire world.

No-one knew the capriciousness of history better than I did. For within me I hold the power to change what was. I have the power to 'eat' history hiding and concealing it or morphing and creating it as I see fit. With such an ability the world is mine to make and fiddle with.

However as a historian there was no way I could ever do that! Nope. My powers were only to be used to help protect the village and those I care for. If I used it in any other case I'd be destroying everything I stand for. The revelation of the one true history is my goal.

With the help of persons such as Lady Akyuu, at the very least Gensokyo's history could be kept correct and to the fact. The Hieda family was a great help both in allowing me material for my lessons and for letting me often take home some books for my nightly reading material.

History fascinates me in a way I struggle to describe and I strive to spread this fascination of what once was in our world to others, to uncover the reality not the illusions. The chance of meeting someone who lived a thousand years ago willing to be my friend who experienced history first hand was one I absolutely could not let slip through my fingers.

I could never have known this fated meeting would bring me something far more irreplaceable than satisfaction for my curiosity, something history often overlooked.

Something a little like love.

…

**'Of all the fires, love is the only inexhaustible one.' —Pablo Neruda**

Mokou was always faster than me; I would never catch up with her.

You see, Mokou often tried too hard to hold herself back, trying to maintain some semblance of refined dignity, but, more often than Mokou would care to admit, she wavered and her impulsive, hot-headed self emerged. It was a charmingly childish side of her I'd come to love. As strange as it may sound, and I can't tell you why but… I liked it when she ran ahead of me. Watching her back as she ran, her purely white hair chasing after her in the wind of her motion was a view I never thought I would enjoy so much.

"Mokouuu!" I yelled after finally managing to ascend the shallow hill. I scampered off to her side looking around for the reason I was brought here. "What did you want to show me?" There was nothing all that impressive anywhere around here. There was just a single lifeless tree.

I got slightly ticked off for a moment. Had she really brought me all the way here for nothing? And I had a lot of work I needed to get through. Turning on my heels I huffed, both from lack of breath and irritation. My mouth opened, lips and tongues poised to form a word.

And then my lips shook and my tongue receded to the darkest recesses of my mouth. Like being hit in my gut the picture before me forced all the air from my lungs, leaving me inelegantly searching for the breath I needed to ask the question that was reverberating throughout and bouncing off the edges of my skull.

"Mokou, what's wrong?" The girl started, a look of shock and surprise on her face that resembled my own. Except from her eyes tears poured forth. They shone upon her pale cheeks, twinkling like stars. _Surely,_ I thought to myself, _her tears are the most beautiful I've ever seen._ People when they cried were supposed to be ugly, tears were horrid and wretched things so when you cried you weren't supposed to look pretty.

But Mokou looked more resplendent than I had ever seen her before. Her cheeks reddened to cherubic perfection, rosy lips parted slightly and quivering, crimson eyes puffed up and deepened. Her glimmering tears appeared as if their progress might be halted by heavenly hands, fractions of centimeters before the earth, to be ushered up shepherded higher and higher into the sky to find a place amongst the billions of bright, eternal shining stars.

_This is the first time I've seen Mokou cry_, I realised. That was the most alarming thing of it all. As lovely a sight Mokou struck, my heart was tugged every time a tear fell from her cheeks. Mokou was crying since the first time I'd met her and I couldn't figure out why.

"I-I wanted to show you…T-to show you." There was a deep profound hurt I'd never heard in her voice as she stumbled over her words. When she turned to me and called my name in a pained voice, her sore eyes looking straight into mine, I felt an intensity of alarm tinged with crushing suffocation that overwhelmed all other sensations.

My instincts kicked in and as Mokou fell into my outstretched arms I welcomed her embrace. For reasons I had yet to know, the immortal girl in my arms cried, and cried and cried. In response I squeezed harder, and harder and harder. Soon amidst her shaking, mumbled words began to seep into her harsh sobs.

"T-tree…bloom…e-ever s-since I…"

I nodded and stroked her hair trying to piece together her broken speech. Into her ears, regardless of whether or not she could hear me I whispered sweet nothings, I kept my tone soft, my words smooth and slow. Calming.

"I-it's guh-gone. Thuh-the tree and it's always b-been here!" It didn't seem Mokou was consciously registering anything I or she said, but she was calming down and that's all that mattered. Her words were making more sense now and I was beginning to figure out the situation and the source of her sudden and radical outbreak.

Yet, just as everything was beginning to clear, a new storm appeared. Her tears became an uncontrollable torrent, flooding the contours of her face. This storm was fuelled by some renewed notion, some sudden realisation. Mokou wept and I lost track of the amount of times she repeated herself. Her fragile composure fractured into great, gulping sobs. For these moments she became so hysterical I wasn't sure she knew what she was saying.

Months from now when the words Mokou said that day played themselves over and over in my head, I would be certain that it wasn't her speaking, but a deep part of her subconscious.

"A-and soon, K-Keine's going to die and leave me all alone!"

_Ah, _I thought with sudden, monotonous clarity.

_How obvious. I must be getting old._ Energy drained from my limbs and I fell, bringing Mokou along with me, down to the earth. Peculiarly quiescent, I relaxed against the tree. I urged Mokou into my chest, hoping the deep, secure drumming of my heart would somehow reassure her that, at least for this moment, I was here, I was alive.

_How many years do I have left?_ I wondered as the steady rhythm of my heart ingrained itself into Mokou's mind_. _I don't know much about my curse. I barely know any of the exact conditions of being a were-hakutaku. I will outlive several generations of humans…but I don't think I will outlive any pure youkai. _How much longer will I live?_

I unwound my arms from Mokou's willowy form. Her fingers curled into the folds of my dress as she sunk, sluggishly reposing herself upon my lap. Finally the well of tears within Mokou dried up, her sobs becoming hollow, her shaking shallow. Until with one last broken intake of breath, the sudden shower of rain ceased completely.

Looking down at this immortal human, the one who had carved an irreplaceable part in my heart, I shook my head.

_Not long enough._

I looked away from Mokou, pondering at what best to say. I won't live forever. But Mokou will. And, if she does so will her memories of me, so will my history with her. If Mokou lives forever, so…will I.

And I really did believe that. Both this tree and I will one day only be memories to Mokou, but within her memories we'll both still exist. Alive and at our most beautiful moments, our wondrous history and a small part of ourselves will remain immortal within Mokou's heart.

I will live on forever in Mokou's heart.

_I can't think of anything better._

Finding my answer I said: "Paint me a picture."

"What?"

I chuckled at that.

_Smile, Mokou. Let's make sure the memories I leave you with are all happy ones._

…

'**For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.'**

How did you tell the difference between one bamboo stalk and the other?

How did you tell which direction was north when the stalks were so tall they blotted out almost all of the sun's light?

How, once you strayed from the trodden, dilapidated path and you possessed the innate sense of direction akin to a rock, could you find your way back?

The answer to all three of those questions was: You can't.

I gazed into the distance, trying to scan through as much of the prison bar like stalks as I could for anything that bore the slightest resemblance to a path. When my search quickly proved fruitless I began to look for the colours red and white.

Lowering the basket I was carrying onto the earthen soil I stretched outwards and began to massage my stiff shoulders. I sighed, more in annoyance with myself than anything else. I'd managed to get lost once again within the labyrinthine forest of green poles and barely discernible trails.

_Well, no worries. She'll be here eventually._

The simple fact kept my should-be-frantic heart calm. Beaming rays of sunlight flickered through the gaps of the forest to illuminate the world around me. Ambling my way towards a patch of enchanting light I inhaled the subtle, mellow scents of the earth. Magical daylight tickled my skin, permeating my body and soul, warming my heart like a benign caress.

I began to hum, low and mellifluous, letting the tranquility within me rumble throughout.

I let my thoughts flow, reflecting on a lot. I'd just finished getting some more books from Lady Akyuu so I had my evening reading planned out. School was off for a couple of weeks as well which meant I had even more time to relax… Oh, and there's that wedding too.

Thoughts of dinner occupied the spaces of my mind; I'd just received some vegetables, a bag of rice and meat from the villagers. That didn't leave for the widest variety of meal choices. I pondered what to make trying to keep in mind my other dinner guest. Perhaps I could ask Mokou to bring some red-bean paste. _Then we could make manju!__Also with the start of school break maybe we should celebrate a bit and have some beef teriyaki?_

My mind became occupied in the pleasant imaginations of the dinner to come, filled with praise from Mokou and the charming image of the phoenix-like girl wolfing down any and all food I brought her. "She'll probably burn her tongue again, that airhead," I chided her aloud to the silence. Of course I did always serve her the food a little earlier and plenty hotter than normal, just so I could see wince and cutely stick out her tongue in that special way of hers. Not that I would ever admit to it out loud.

_I wonder if Mokou's ever been to a wedding before._ My throat continued to reverberate as I hummed and thought over all of this. When I think about it… huh, how strange… What I realised was I didn't really know all that much about Mokou, well more specifically her past. All I knew was that she was most likely part of a grand noble house, and was related to Kaguya through some happenstance thousands of years ago. She was an ordinary human in terms of lifespan and ability, but then one day, many, many years ago she drank the Hourai Elixir and became immortal.

_She must have been so lonely… I'm glad we're friends now._ A solitary existence, cut off from the world.

In that respect,t I believed that in a little way that's how Mokou and I were alike. What I didn't often acknowledge was that I was also lonely until I met her. Before her I didn't have anyone I could call a friend. The villagers were always nice to me, and I loved them. Yet, there was so much I couldn't talk about with them. So much I wanted to say and let out but if I talked to them about my problems it would only be seen as a sign of weakness, causing confusion and disquiet.

When I'd become cursed and everyone around me started to grow old, their skin becoming heavy and loose, bones brittle and stiff and their hair greyed to a dull sheen of colourlessness. Once that had happened I began to panic, I was terrified.

But the villagers calmed me, I loved them and so they loved me.

"You should be happy!" They all told me in a thousand different ways. Thus I was. I was given more time than I could have ever wished for, the chance to know all the history of Gensokyo and the power to protect them. At the time I was content.

I didn't know it then but a part of me had become hollow, decrepit from disuse. I'd become so attuned to my role as teacher and saviour that that was all I was. A protector from the darkness, a teacher of profound knowledge. An insurmountable distance had grown between myself and the villagers. And I just let it happen, or rather it was an inevitability I could never have stopped, even if I'd known.

The very fact that in my mind I called them 'the villagers' was proof of it! It was no longer my friends or the people I care about. Just the villagers. I loved them and they loved me. However they no longer understood me and what I was and I quickly discovered that I no longer understood them.

To them I had become a symbol, an icon. They no longer saw me as one of them and I no longer saw myself as one of them either. They were all my children in a way.

I'd lost the me that wasn't a teacher, the me that wasn't a protector. I'd lost the part of me that represented me as a person. I lost my own, personal idea of who I was, so affixed in the role I'd adopted. There was no my life, but Keine's life.

However, there came a night where in this very forest where I stumbled upon a lonesome girl. That girl was Mokou.

All the old parts of me I'd forgotten about were found by Mokou. They were gathered up, the aged, dusty, crumbling pieces I'd cast to the abyss. By themselves they were insignificant, but Mokou found them all, repaired them and built a pile next to the frozen portion of my heart. The pile grew from a dismal mass to a towering mountain.

With a click of her fingers, a shimmer of her smile, and a second of her laughter, a spark was formed which fell and ignited the pile. The hungry bonfire of who I was licked and spat at my heart in a wild fury, roaring its dissatisfaction, thawing out the dilapidated part of me. As the blaze reached a crescendo Mokou threw herself into the inferno. The flames erupted as if reborn, feeding off of the magmatic fuel that was Mokou. My heart was then not only thawed but kindled anew.

Once the fire died only ashes remained… but phoenixes rise from their ashes.

That was how Mokou changed me. That was how she transformed my lonely one-dimensional life into a wondrous spectacle in which every day brought out another part of me I'd never known I'd lost.

"Keine?" A voice intoned curiously, pulling me from my introspection. I turned, already upturning my lips. "I heard somebody humming so I thought I'd follow it and here you are. Did you get lost again?" She chuckled and stood with her hands on her hips, eyes twinkling.

"I was looking for you actually," I began to explain making my way towards the wicker basket of foodstuffs. "But yeah, I was following the path but then it just kind of vanished. I thought tonight we should eat at your place. I want to celebrate the starts of the holidays with a big feast." I held up the basket and shook it.

Mokou took in my words with an ever-growing grin on her face. "Sure. Ah, will you be staying the night?"

I nodded. "Probably."

Mokou scratched her cheek sheepishly, looking oddly bashful. "Well I haven't done much cleaning lately so my place is kind of a mess. Also Kaguya came over yesterday and we kind of got into another big fight and in the whole process all my spare futons were burnt so…"

"I don't mind sharing the futon with you, Mokou." A slight rush of exhilaration coursed through me as I said those words, warmth invaded the surface of my cheeks and the tips of my ears.

"Oh alright! Great. Good. Fantastic. Just needed to make sure you know, that you were okay and all with sleeping together," she laughed tensely, eluding direct eye-contact with me. Clearing her throat, Mokou yawned as if suddenly exhausted. Stretching and trying to maintain a semblance of cool indifference she said, "I'm cool with that. Doesn't bother me at all."

I turned my head and tittered in amusement at Mokou's flustered rambling. With sudden intensity Mokou thrust out her arm towards me, palm opened and tight in strain. "Let me carry the basket for you." I beamed at her and nodded, passing the parcel onto her. She gripped the basket and seemed to test its weight before nodding. "Let's go."

I thread my fingers together behind my back and followed Mokou's exact footsteps throwing my legs forward in an exaggerated swinging motion. Mokou shook her head in exasperation but the edges of her mouth betrayed her, curling up ever slightly.

We walked in comfortable silence, both listening to the genuine tunes of the forest, the wafting of the wind, the crunch of our feet on the soil and the tweets of birds taken to the sky. I maintained a steady distance from Mokou, always two strides directly behind. _Again_, I noted to myself. _Again I'm watching her back, transfixed by the placid swaying of her alabaster hair._

A question presented itself to me in bold, gigantic letters and unable to resist the small piece of knowledge I might gain of Mokou, I asked it. "Has your hair always been white?"

Mokou pivoted on the balls of her feet so that she was facing me. She walked backwards with surprising efficiency keeping her eyes locked on me. "Hmm, nope. I was born with black hair, it wasn't long either. It used to be really short." She used one hand to show me where her hair used to be, just above her shoulders.

"So it became white? When was that?"

"Loooong ago," she emphasised the long part with her eyes and a dip of her head. "It was after I drank the Hourai elixir… Probably because I'm human my appearance was changed unlike Kaguya or Eirin. I've actually never given it much thought. I just got used to it, you know." Mokou shrugged nonchalantly, nodding her head in affirmation.

"I guess it being white feels more natural for you now." After all, she's lived far longer with her hair being the colour it is now than she had ever lived with it being black.

"Well it's better than if it had remained black. Then I'd look similar to Kaguya." She stuck out her tongue distastefully, clearly showing her displeasure at the thought. "Hmm… it does suit me though, doesn't it?" She asked with a wink and sly smile.

I was about to chuckle my reply when I noticed a sharp dip in the path ahead. I cried out to try and warn Mokou, who at the moment couldn't have possibly known of the impending disaster. Yet, with what appeared to be a completely unconscious effort the phoenix-girl hopped once, right over the dugout obstacle.

I was so flabbergasted by Mokou's stylish evasion that I then fell prey to the very hurdle of which I'd tried to warn her. Inertia kicked in as the ground I was walking on dipped and I stumbled, as elegantly as a cow. I flailed my arms like a frantic windmill but it was hopeless, I was already falling. I closed my eyes and prepared to hurt.

I should never have even worried.

Before I'd even fallen far forward Mokou was there. Our forms melded together as she encompassed me. "Woah, careful, clumsy." My head was nestled into the crook of Mokou's elfin neck, nose pressed against her ivory skin. She smelt slightly burnt, like the scorched logs of a reveling campfire.

"Th-thanks," I mumbled into her body. I closed my eyes, taking in the sweet sensations of the moment. "How did you know it was there?"

"What? The ditch?" I squeezed a yes, not wanting to change any of the dynamics of our current position. "I…uhm…just knew really. I know almost everything about this forest. I've been here a long time and I guess I just learnt everything about this place. It's partly why I became a guide."

I bit my lip, I wanted to know more about Mokou. Yet, I was afraid to bring up her past for more reasons than I could care to count. The curiosity however was like a wailing beast trapped inside a cage demanding sustenance, satiation.

I whispered into her ear, my voice trembling. "You know, Mokou…I didn't know it or maybe I did but never questioned why but I was lonely until I met you. Which makes me wonder…how your life must have been before you met me. When I met you, you were alone… I didn't want to think about it and so I never asked because I couldn't imagine what life must have felt like but I want, no I need to know. What was your life like before me? What did you do? Were you alone for all that time? You haven't always been alone…have you?"

For a moment…nothing, all I heard was the faint resounding drum of Mokou's heart against my ear. Then I felt her chest rise and Mokou exhaled a heavy sigh. "Jeez, Keine, what a depressing topic." I scowled at her words and immediately felt guilt for changing the mood so precipitously. _Now look what I've done._

"Well let's see," she uttered whilst ruffling my hair. For the most part –and this came as quite a surprise to me, making me feel overly self-conscious – Mokou seemed completely unperturbed. We parted from our embrace and instantly my body became colder where it no longer touched Mokou. Scratching her head she considered what to say.

"It's all fuzzy and I don't remember much. Back then time kind of just…flowed and went on. To answer your one question though… yeah I was alone for the most part."

She shoved her hands into her pockets and gave a noncommittal shrug. "It was easier that way really. It freed me of a lot of unnecessary worries and allowed me to just go on. Before when I was living outside Gensokyo I was an anomaly. People who don't die at all are scary to most folks so I was ostracised and anyone I did manage to get close to just…withered away."

Mokou kicked her boots against the floor, sending a mix of dust and greenery into the air. That's when I realised her disinterest in the topic was just an act of false bravado. "Well anyway so trying to go about living normally just wasn't going to work so for two or I think three hundred years I just sort of wandered. Just drifting from place to place, never stopping or settling down. Trying to keep away from all the people who hated me."

"I must have circled Japan over a hundred times then. After that it was my wild stage." Mokou smirked however to me it looked almost like a grimace. Her expression quickly became one of regret. "You would not have liked me back then, Keine. I broke just about every law you can think of. I stole, I wrecked places, I fought over and over with humans and youkai. I was worse than the worst delinquent child you've ever had to deal with. I did anything just to keep myself entertained. I'm…not proud of the things I did then. I lost myself, the sight of who I was and had no image of what I wanted to be. All I wanted to do was stave off my boredom, I didn't really care how."

She looked at me and gave a hollow smile in an attempt to falsely reassure me. "Anyway that went on for another three hundred years or so until it was no longer fun and everything just got boring again."

"The next part of my life is the haziest. It's when I most regretted becoming an immortal. I thought that I was going to go insane from the boredom. There was nothing, no human or youkai that kept me entertained anymore. I just sort of… lived. I was like a parasite almost. Never doing or saying anything just feeding off of the land trying to get by, because that's all I could do. All I knew how to do was live. So eventually I appeared here, in Gensokyo. After hundreds of years I learnt that Kaguya was still alive. I didn't know what to feel initially but then I learnt she was also stuck in the same mess I was in and I was ecstatic. Someone was experiencing what I was feeling. Someone was suffering like I was."

"After that well you know the gist of it. We killed each other over and over. I don't expect you to understand, it was pointless for the most part but that's what we did." Mokou sighed emphatically, once again shaking her head. I racked at my brain trying to find something I could say that would express my apologies, reassurances and comforts.

"Thank you, Mokou. I can see how reluctant you are to talk about this, I'm sorry." I brushed my hair over an ear, providing her with a warm smile. "It sounds like it was tough, you're strong, Mokou."

In response to my words she brightened, her whole demeanour transforming from reticent and sombre to dizzying brightness. She beamed at me, the widest, most giddy stupid smile. "No need to worry, Keine. After all I've met you, and since then it's been the happiest time of my entire life!" She scratched the back of her head and laughed gracelessly, her laugh was filled with such a volume of mirth that I quickly became overwhelmed.

I began to sniffle and my lips trembled ardently. I must have made quite a comedic picture for most people but the face I made seemed to terrify Mokou.

"Ah! K-Keine, what's up? D-don't cry oh please I didn't want you to cry! That's why I never told you before. I knew you'd react this way." The panicked girl motioned towards me and started to desperately pat at my tears with her sleeve.

I cracked a shaky smile up at her. "No that's not it."

_"And soon, Keine's going to die and leave me all alone!"_

Those words that had haunted me since that day, replayed themselves for the thousandth time within my head. _Mokou…_

"Th-this is also the happiest I've ever been, Mokou. I love you! I love you, Mokou! Mokou, I love you!"

_Three times._

Shock, confusion and an emotion I couldn't decipher flashed across her face. "K-Keine…"

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

Warm fingers slid across my cheek, tracing my tears to their source. Mokou tutted, settling on an expression of bemused pacification. Gazing solidly into me, her red eyes met mine and she pressed our foreheads together.

"Yes yes, Keine. I love you too." Her face erupted, mouth set once again into that stupidly eclectic grin of earlier. In fact it was bigger, as if the restraints tying her already impossibly wide smile had been removed. In her uniquely endearing, childish way she squealed, "I love you!"

No three words could have caused an equal amount of gratification… and anguish.

…

"**No matter what has happened. No matter what you've done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it."**

The air was lightly tinged with the faint, rustic scents of wildfire. It was a common smell around Mokou who always smelt of burnt wood. Having lived in her little two-room cottage for as long as she had, the aroma had now seeped into the very foundations of the quaint building. The wood, tatami mats and paper doors all mingled with that distinctly ashy smell. After her latest scuffle with Kaguya, even more was charred and a lot was broken.

I sidestepped the mess of wooden debris, traversing the little gap from her front room – which seemed to have suffered the most damage – to the back. Perhaps it was part of Mokou's partially reclusive nature but her place was sparsely decorated and equipped with only enough to get by, cooking fire, pots, one bare wooden table, a vegetable garden and space to sleep. It was devoid of any luxuries and certainly came across as a cute, simple, humble home.

I'd just finished washing the dishes and came in to find Mokou splayed defencelessly across the floor, rubbing her belly in satisfaction. She was dozing softly and I was a little amazed at how little time it took her to get comfortable, or the fact that she could be comfortable at all in this mess. Just the very sight of all the tears in the paper, cracks and splinters in the wood and burn marks on the floor caused me to grow anxious, it was also extremely irksome.

"Come now, Mokou. Don't fall asleep on your own, and especially in such a sloppy position." I stood over her, leaning forward and casting my elongated shadow over her. "Jeez, at least let me lay the futon out before you doze off."

"Ah, sorry, sorry," she yawned stretching out her limbs like an awakening puppy. "It's just your food was so warm and delicious and I ate so much that I just felt really sleepy." She sat up, lazily eyeing at me.

I huffed and wiped the black ash which had collected at the back of her head. "How can you fall asleep in this mess, Mokou! We need to clean up. It's unhealthy for your body and your minds wellbeing!" I am a firm believer that healthy and organised surroundings are the creators of a healthy and organised mind. In short, if you lived in filth, you were filth.

"Come on let's just get the futon and sleep, I don't have the energy to clean right now."

"Absolutely not. We're not getting a wink of sleep until you at least clean up this room!" I put my arms under hers and heaved up her light form. I then gave her a moderate, yet firm push towards the largest heap of rubble. "Get rid of it."

Mokou gave me a look as if I'd just forced her to swallow a vat of her own bitter bile. "I almost want to throw you outside," she spat out gazing at me with incredulous slit eyes. I stared back, not backing down from the challenge. Realising that she'd lost, Mokou gave a deep, heavy sigh as if her soul were pouring out of her body and with hyperbolic ministrations got a hold of her broom and began to freshen up her place. I pretended I didn't notice that she was constantly muttering curses of indignation underneath her breath.

Meanwhile while the room was finally getting spruced up in the late evening by its neglectful owner I grabbed a pair of my sleeping clothes I always kept spare at Mokou's place and quickly shimmied into them. I threw my hair back over my shoulder and shouted a question to Mokou in the next room, "Hey where's the futon?"

"Top drawer, second cupboard on the left," she responded with barely restrained venom.

Humming unconcernedly to myself I found the aforementioned cupboard and procured from it the desired item. _Even this is a little burnt!_ I noted in shock. _Mokou…you're incredible._ I trotted back into the room and stood back, impressed with the improved state of the room. "This is incredible, Mokou! Life could actually survive in here now!"

"Oh, keep quiet."

I giggled at Mokou's hostility, "I'm just teasing." I moved over towards the centre of the room where there was a reasonably clear spot of floor and began to lay out the futon. When I was done Mokou was completing the final bit of her cleaning, sweeping the mess out her door.

"There. I'm done. Happy now, Keine?"

"Yes. Doesn't your head feel so much clearer now that you're not surrounded by so much clutter?"

Mokou placed the broom back against the wall and shut slid close the paper door. "I s'pose…." She groaned, still vexed.

"You know you wouldn't have had to clean up all of that if you'd just controlled your temper and not fought Kaguya, Mokou. Honestly that's the part of you I just don't get. You're such a good person but whenever Kaguya's brought into the picture it's like a switch in your head goes off. What happened between you two?"

Mokou's response was to grunt and shrug. "I'm going to go change quick," she told me dodging my enquiry. I exhaled a hefty breath of air. Shaking my head I thought just how peculiar Mokou could be, her peculiarity was justified however. Yet that didn't stop it from being so intriguing. I burrowed underneath the futon pressing the shape of my head into the pillow as Mokou re-entered the room.

I smiled at her and pat the spot next to me on the futon where I'd already laid out her pillow. With stiff body movements Mokou made her way towards me and slipped into the futon beside me. "Sorry for the tight squeeze," she apologised as our bare knees scraped across one another.

"Not at all," I reassured her reaching out my fingertips as a test to see just how close Mokou's body was to mine. When before I had fully extended them I felt the brush of her smooth pyjamas, I realised, too close. Already I could feel the pulsating heat of her hot body. I tried to act as if this were natural for me. I mean we sleep on each other's laps all the time, but there was something different about this, it was the intimacy.

Trying to hide my embarrassment, I began to speak. "So you never answered my question."

Confusion flickered across her face, "What question?"

"When I asked what happened between you and Kaguya." It was apparent from her facial expression that she did not want to talk about this, especially just before bed.

"We are not talking about her just before I'm about to sleep. Absolutely not."

"But…"

"No but's, Keine. I've already made you cry once today, and I don't feel like talking about stupid things again."

"This isn't stupid though!" I complained, pushing myself up to rest on one arm. "This is important. I want to know why you two keep hurting each other and why you hate her so much. Look at what you did to your house! It was like a bomb went off and you act as if it's a normal occurrence, as if nothing weird happened! That's just abnormal, Mokou."

"Look even if I did explain it to you, you wouldn't understand."

"Then make me understand, Mokou. You always use that excuse. What won't I understand about it? Even if it's really complicated, or really stupid, can you at least make the attempt to make me understand? Can't you see I'm worried about you?" I extended my hand and tightened it around Mokou's.

"Why?" She asked, a look of absolute befuddlement on her face. With that question for the first time that I can remember since the day I first met her I felt I didn't and never would understand Mokou. No matter how hard I tried. "You know I can't die so what's the big deal? You've been really funny today, Keine. Getting lost in the forest, you've done it before but not recently. You know exactly how to get to my house. Then you were asking about my hair and my past, now all of this. Something's up."

Th-there's nothing going on. I haven't been funny." I tried to defend myself.

_"A-and soon, K-Keine's going to die and leave me all alone!"_ The words echoed endlessly.

"You have been." She got up so that she was sitting on her knees, freeing her hand from mine. "To be honest with you, you've kind of been annoying, Keine. Forcing me to talk about things I don't want to talk about and do things I don't want to do. All this confrontation as well and you're whining over the stupidest things."

"All I'm doing is showing that I care for you! I j-just felt I needed to know more about you is all. I didn't mean to force you or sound like I was whining."

"Well that's what it felt like," she said shrugging nonchalantly.

"I told you I was just looking out for you! You're acting like a real spoilt brat." I scrunched up my fingers on the hem of my clothes. If it weren't for the added layer I'd probably be drawing blood.

"I'm not. I'm telling you that the thought is nice and all but you don't have to worry over me so much. You're just unnecessarily causing yourself stress. Hey, come on stop you're crying again." Mokou leaned forward, probably intending to touch me.

"Well of course I'm going to cry if you're going to be so insensitive!" I ripped the futon from Mokou in petty fury. I rolled it into a ball and then chucked it at her. "If you didn't want to talk about any of that stuff then you shouldn't have okay! I wouldn't have pushed you into doing it and you know it! And you're asking me why I care but isn't it obvious? I told you I loved you didn't I? That's why I care and it's why I don't want you to always fight with Kaguya! I don't want to see you hurt at all!"

_That isn't all though, but how could I tell you the real reason. How could I tell you I'm so afraid of leaving you alone? That I want you to at least have someone with you. A constant in your life. Kaguya will always be around so maybe if you make friends with her then you won't… you won't have to be so alone when I die. I want to tell you that but I can't. Because if I do then won't it be like giving up on us? If we both acknowledge that fact then how can we live happily together!?_

Those thoughts had been eating away at me ever since our talk in the forest. Perhaps that explained my radical behaviour. I tried to hide it, those bitter beliefs gnawing at my insides but I couldn't. It almost seemed as if all this happiness I was providing her would cause a multiplied degree of sadness when my inevitable end arrived.

"Keine…"

"You love me as well don't you? So surely you can understand not wanting to see someone you love in pain, not wanting to hear about them fighting all the time, not wanting them to be alone. And surely you'd want to know why they keep doing that to you. Why they keep making you sad and worry about them but they're so thick they don't even realise it!"

I wiped the salty tears from my cheeks, feeling a little ashamed at my outburst. "Come on, even an idiot can understand something like that…"

"Yeah. Even an idiot like me can understand that," Mokou said whilst wrapping the soft futon around my shivering form. Threading her hands through the folds she placed them atop mine. "I can be a real brick wall sometimes."

I nodded my agreement. "An absolute moron."

"I deserved that. I'm sorry. It's just I suppose today you…wait it sounds like I'm blaming you if I say that. Uhm… let's just say today I was reminded of times I'd rather forget and it kind of bugged me. So do you think maybe we can talk about Kaguya another time? She's a topic even I'm unsure of. Maybe when we're both not so high-strung we can talk about it?"

"Okay."

"Sorry again. I guess…I'm still getting used to this you know? And it's a little hard for me to adjust the way I think to include how others might actually be feeling about me. I'll get there." I nodded slowly, beginning to unwrap myself from the futon. Scratching the back of her head, Mokou sat cross-legged and yawned.

"You're really tired, huh?" I intoned, catching the contagion and yawning myself. I wiped at my eyes trying to remove the heaviness that was pressing down on them.

"Yeah, today's been more exciting than I'm used to."

"Well," I began to say, straightening out and repositioning the futon over us both. "Let's fix that." We lay down both facing the other. My eyes directed at Mokou's, hers looking into mine. I caught my red-tinged reflection and smiled bashfully.

"Just promise me one thing, Mokou."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Promise me you won't get in another fight with Kaguya, please no matter how much she annoys you. I want you to swear you won't ever fight her again. Okay?"

"Fine I promise… but only if you also promise me one thing," she said with an air of thoughtfulness around her. I nodded, beckoning her to continue. "Promise me you'll forgive me for tonight, and to be patient with me… Even if I'm being really, really stupid. Just, stay with me."

I was touched by her sincerity and guilt-ridden words, without any hesitation at all I was already nodding my agreement. "I've already forgiven you, Mokou. And you don't have to worry I'll stay with you forever."

"It's a deal then." She confirmed beaming at me. I beamed back at her, hiding behind the falsity of my little white lie.

_Forever…_

With that I closed my eyes and slept.

…

'**If a thing loves, it is infinite.'**

Or at least, I tried to. I turned and rolled over in an attempt to find slumber however the arms of Morpheus this night were prickly and unwelcoming. My mind was running at a frantic pace and there was no way to slow it down. After several minutes of my tossing and turning Mokou spoke up.

"Can't sleep?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Too much stuff on your mind? Same here, even though my eyelids are so heavy my hearts beating really fast and I'm feeling all nervous and everything."

I laughed in agreement with her and our shared reasons for insomnia. "Mokou?"

"Yeah?"

"You're really old."

"Eh!" Her voice penetrated the veiled cloak of subtle silence. "Come on, Keine, don't start telling me that. I already felt embarrassed enough at my age and now you're telling me straight out that I'm old. I know I am, I don't need any reminding." She shifted her position with a sigh. "In terms of age though, Keine's like a baby to me. I should be calling you my itty-bitty little Keine-tan."

"If you call me that with such a grin in front of my class I'll never have their respect again. Also…You're the one who's itty-bitty."

"For some reason that feels like an attack of my pride. Or rather you've definitely wounded it."

"It's alright, don't worry. I think they're better small, I like them more that way."

"They're? What are you talking about now? I think we're on a different page here, you pervert."

"I'm not a pervert! I'm merely stating facts."

"Ahh of course, my little Keine-tan is still innocent. Let's hope she stays this way and doesn't become tainted by the impure!"

"Tainted by the impure? Who are you so rudely calling the impure?"

"Oh you know, old perverts, pubescent boys and whatnot that want to take advantage of your childish naïveté."

"My childish naïveté? That's quite something coming from someone as immature as you."

"I'm not immature, I just like to have fun. Immaturity and choosing not to be serious all the time are two different things, Keine. Which of course you'd know if you'd had all the experiences I've had in my long lifetime. Until you experience those things you're a child in my books. No matter how old and adult like you try to act."

"What kind of experiences are you talking about?"

"I think the very fact that I have to elaborate on that shows you just how right I am. You're not Keine-sensei but Keine-tan!"

"Or the very fact that you have to elaborate shows just how vague you're being. I think your brain fell asleep a long time ago ahead of your mouth. You've been speaking nonsense."

"Oh, ho, ho. Would you like for me to explain further then, my little innocent child? It's quite simple really my Keine-tan is inexperienced in cases of adult experiences."

Finally catching on, I blushed and felt like an idiot. "H-how would you know that!?"

"It's easy to see, Keine. Look how easily you're getting flustered. And you certainly haven't been able to develop a relationship that hasn't been platonic. Also even when a guy is trying to hit on you, all his hard thought innuendo goes flying over your head… Or are you telling me I'm wrong?"

I couldn't see it right now in the pitch black darkness but I knew it was there, a wide, obnoxious smirk plastered all over her face. "I-I'm not."

"Thus the pure maiden admitted her charmingly innocent naïveté. Well that's alright, Keine. I like you more that way."

Chewing on the tip of my thumb I found I had to ask: "…Does that mean you have experienced… those things?"

"Well," she shrugged. "I might have, I might not have."

"That's not an answer."

"Of course it is. There's the chance I have and the equal chance that I haven't. Of course I'm telling you you're still a child for having not experienced those sorts of things so if I haven't then I'm just being a hypocrite."

"So you have?"

"Does it really matter? I mean it certainly wouldn't be strange if I have. A thousand years is a lot of time, loneliness and boredom were constant adversaries of mine and it would have been like killing two birds with one stone. It would have been natural for me at a stage to have at least given it a try or two."

"Of course I could have also thought it would have been a waste of time. I might not have seen any point in participating in such an act with someone who will at some point or another, for one reason or another fade out of my life. I was also trying to avoid people at many points. The longer you haven't, the easier it is not too. So it's entirely possible I haven't."

There was a strange sort of cold anticipation gripping at my chest, like Mokou was going to say more. That she was going to clear the doubt the…frustration from my mind. Yet the silence stretched on with neither of us saying a word, even our breathing became reserved and soundless.

"I know I said I didn't want to talk anymore. But I felt it was only fair. "Do you think it matters, Keine? If you do, I can tell you."

"No," I whispered, trying to find more strength to nourish my voice. "It doesn't matter."

"Okay."

Slowly encroaching its way across the insubstantial gap between us Mokou's hand crept, edging nearer and nearer until now it embraced mine. Our fingers intertwined, I squeezed tightly, holding and feeling the undoubtable presence of Mokou. With wordless acceptance we both settled into our new position. The night's noises surrounded us.

"Thanks."

…

**If you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets me."**

I should have seen it coming. It had been one of the worst days of my life, the entire day had been a forewarning, a chain of events portending a shocking finale. Of course I'd thought to myself as each little trouble was met: _It can't get any worse than this._ Such thoughts however would undoubtedly lead to a karmic rebalance in which each woe was soon overshadowed by the next, the universe's cruel sense of humour.

The nights rest had been less than satisfactory as had the previous night's been. I stayed up all night marking the children's latest test and preparing notes for the next lesson. I'd also spent time constructing a method in which I'd try to coax one of my latest children, a mute traumatised by youkai, to speak. It was my first time dealing with someone who'd lost their ability to speak due to trauma however I believed that the first word would be the hardest and that every word afterwards would require twice as little effort until eventually they were speaking like they'd used to.

I'd actually gotten the idea for it from another student one day when she had denoted to give me the silent treatment. It relied on getting the child excited so that they forgot their previous inhibitions. The thing was I knew most kids' buttons and how to get them excited, for this child I didn't and so slowly over the course of multiple sleepless nights I'd formulated a plan.

The basics of my plan were to hang up a series of numbers, one to ten, I'd point to one and ask: "What's this? Seven. What's this? One. What's this? Four." And so on. I'd get the child to point at each number and put some just out of her reach so that she'd have to jump to reach them, therefore increasing the fun. I'd start of slow then go faster and faster, increasing my pace and causing the child to jump even more frequently until I believed they were absorbed enough into it that when I asked: "What's this?" And stayed silent they would fill in for me and shout fervently, "Ten!"

As a test I'd asked Mokou to try it with strict instructions not to talk at all or she would not eat. The results were as I anticipated and Mokou went to bed on an empty stomach. I liked to think of this method as a sort of mental sleight of hand. With all of this planning I was very much awaiting the next day to test my ingenious method.

However on the morning of the worst day I'd fallen asleep over my desk, as it was still the rainy season the damp chill of the air. I woke up shivering, chilled to my bones and without being able to walk more than three steps without sneezing. I'd decided to soldier on and endure the sickness. Which I can now identify as a terrible idea.

With my hands clumsy and shaking, it took me several minutes to get dressed and the small breakfast I had prepared ended up being consumed by the ground. That was also when I first noticed the major ant infestation which had situated itself behind the kitchen window, oh and of course there was rot in the wood from the constant moisture.

Wanting to beat a hasty retreat and deal with housing problems later I exited the house forgetting to wear a shoe and only realising my mistake when my foot smashed a beautifully round and brilliantly pungent dog turd. There was also a cat stuck in a tree that no matter how I coerced it, refused to come down.

Now not to be late I rushed back and then to school, thus forgetting the tests I'd just marked and the numbers I'd planned to use on the mute girl. My morning started off horribly and it wasn't helped by the fact that the dog stink seemed to cling to me like a perfume. The kids had noticed my odour and were constantly mumbling, throwing glances back and forth noting my disheveled appearance.

This led to no-one wanting to listen to me and an uncalmable fervour possessed the children. They were impossible to quiet down, Kirin was pulling Shiina's hair threatening to cut it, two boys had gotten into a fight over a piece of stationary, the mute girl, Hanabi was being constantly harassed by an older girl and looked to be on the verge of tears. All the while I was coughing, wheezing, sneezing and disappointed in myself.

Any attempt I made to restore peace only caused chaos. When I grabbed Kirin and shouted she jump and reflexively snipped the scissors, causing a whole chunk of Shiina's chestnut twin-tail to be taken off. While I tried to calm Shiina who was screaming bloody murder and trying to prevent Kirin from gluing her hair back on, the tussling boys came over and knocked Kirin over who thus squirted glue into her own eyes.

In the resulting maelstrom in which I tried to juggle the very impossible task of scolding the boys and trying to quiet both girls I had of course forgotten about the unobtrusive Hanabi who was now a sobbing mess.

I sent all six children home early.

That was the first time I thought my day couldn't have gotten any worse, which it then of course did. At lunchtime – which I'd called half an hour early as the class was beginning to suffocate me – several children were playing by the river bank. The incessant rain had caused the river to rise and water to flow at a torrential pace. Too busy feeling sorry for myself and mind too occupied with thoughts of Mokou I never noticed until the kids began screaming in panic that Sora had gotten too close to the river and was now being swept away by the raging current.

The fear, panic and stressed caused by that situation almost killed me right then and there. I dived in and battled with the stormy river, Sora's head was constantly bobbing up and down gasping for breath whenever he was above water. I managed to grab hold of him and pull him out of the river. However my dress had torn and there was a large, bright red gash on Sora's leg. He was hyperventilating and there was a glossy sheen of blue on his hypothermic lips.

I called an early end to school and spent the afternoon with his parent nursing him until I felt he was in a stable condition. When my nerves had lessened somewhat I was approached by Eirin, who had helped tend the dying boy. With a motherly smile – which only heightened my feelings of embarrassment – she sent me back home as I was, "looking in worse shape than Sora." Which did in no way elevate my grim mood or improve my self-image, after all I looked worse than the kid who almost died.

On my way home, I fell in the trap of a certain icy fairies latest prank, leaving me bathing in mud like a pig. Naturally Aya was also there to commemorate my moment of grubbiness eternally on camera!

I went home and cleaned myself, removing the mud from my hair and underneath my nails.

When I went to do my shopping I ran into Suika. She was busy in her latest bout of intense alcoholism and stumbled her way towards me. Grinning briefly her face quickly turned a sickly green hue and she ended up puking all over me.

There was no more hot water when I got back home, I stank and took a cold bath. Now I really was sick.

That was the second time I thought my day wasn't going to get any worse. I wonder now if had perhaps not thought that and not thought of Mokou as the only solution to brightening my day, if that would have prevented what happened next.

I started on the all too familiar path that would lead me to her. Be it that some part of me already felt there was something amiss, or that I just wanted to hurriedly see her I walked at a brisker pace than usual. Most likely because of my brisk pace I missed the first signs of trouble, the uncanny silence, the heavy smoky air and the gloomy atmosphere.

Not to mention how occupied my thoughts were with Mokou. I'd been questioning myself over and over and the relationship that existed between us. Why did Mokou say the things she did on that night? Was she trying to tell me something? If so what? I'd been concerned over how she'd acted the things she said about me and of her past. I questioned on the happiness I was bringing and the hurt I would cause.

Back in reality there were no physical signs to show that anything was wrong, it was all sensory. Until I walked right into it, the devastation and destruction. Uprooted stalks sprawled all across the forest floor, craters littered my vision like zits upon a teenager's face, scorch marks, slashes of dark red and. The visual overload caused all the other information to only later reach my brain. Slowly the sound of weeping filtered into my brains. I turned to look at the source and began to run. Dread causing my stomach to sink like a rock in water.

_No! She promised. Mokou promised me!_

I found her drenched in her own blood, so thickly coated that her shirt had taken on a reddened shade and the entire fabric of it seemed to be congealed with the crimson life's liquid. There were no wounds, yet somehow I knew I'd missed her resurrection and the blood I was seeing was most definitely hers.

She was beating at the floor, smashing her fists into the ground uncaring of the nicks and cuts her hands suffered. Constantly pounding, pounding, pounding. Denting the ground with her rage. All the while she was crying, the rare occurrence once again shaking my world.

"Mokou! Mokou!" I lunged at her arms, stopping her self-mutilation. "Stop! Mokou stop it!"

Eyes trembling she looked up at me as if seeing a ghost, her mouth quivering in sorrow. "Keine?" Her voice was crackly like dried wood and grated against her throat. "Keine!" She enveloped me in a crushing hug and in what was becoming an all too often occurrence one of us began to comfort the other. The stink of blood wafted into my nose.

It was clear how tired she was, linking that information with her cracking voice it was easy to see she'd been crying for a long time. Unable to hold my disappointment back I asked, "Why, Mokou? Why? You promised."

"It's because Kaguya doesn't get it!" She roared right into my ear. "I tried to hold myself back like I've been doing for a long time now but she k-kept at it! I didn't want to fight her and she could see that! She doesn't get it, she likes being immortal! She loves it and I can't stand that!"

She dug her fingers painfully into my skin, her face sunk into my chest and she heaved exhaustedly. "She just doesn't understand. She thinks it's funny how much I hate this! She laughs at me for it! Can't she see how lucky she is? She has that rabbit with her; she always has Eirin with her. She always will and I have nobody! Nobody!"

"That's not true, Mokou. You have me." I said to her soothingly. Knowing full well that wasn't what she meant.

"Yeah but not forever…" She mumbled slowly, a sleepy drawl seeping into her words. "Why does she get to be so lucky? God I wish I was her, I wish… wish Keine… didn't have to…"

_**DIE.**_

"There, there." I comforted her in a shaky voice, as her eyelids fell closed and she collapsed from exhaustion. When I realised she was sleeping and that my breaking point had been reached on this most terrible of days, sick, irritated, exhausted, sad and stained I began to quietly sob.

Weeping softly to myself I cradled the sleeping immortal in my arms, pressing my face in her bloodied hair.

Weeping softly to myself I wiped the tears from her eyes, then wiped mine which had fallen onto her face as replacements.

Weeping softly to myself I briefly considered running away from all of this, from this pain and impossible love.

_I don't ever want to leave you, to cause you hurt._

_What can I do, Mokou?_

…

'**Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.'**

The sun's shine struggled to peak over the horizon, its insipid rays battling desperately to illuminate as it sunk ever deeper. I walked briskly, my feet carrying me onwards and my head was already planning what to say. Reaching my destination, I took a moment to reflect, breathing in deeply. Gripping the door, I slid it open.

"Oh, what a surprise seeing you here," Kaguya exclaimed looking past me to the hallway. "You didn't bring along that ungrateful miscreant did you?"

"No. She's at home resting."

The princess shrugged uninterestedly, continuing to bat her fan. This was not my first time meeting Kaguya, nor the first time I was at her home. Eirin and I generally had village matters that coincided quite frequently with her being the closest thing everyone had around to a doctor and me being a chief and educator. The Lunarian and I got along quite amiably, both complaining about the rough, brash natures of our associated immortals and working together when there was a need.

However the sole aim of my visits had never been Kaguya, during all other occasions I would merely express a greeting to Mokou's arch-rival before continuing on my way. All the knowledge I had of her was garnered either through a tea-time chat with Eirin or an enraged rant through Mokou. As such I could only base my opinions of the moon princess on what the two have told me, and as can be expected I often got two opposite sides of the coin.

"Eirin's over in the fields gathering herbs. You know where the fields are right? Should I call Tewi to escort you?"

"No, it's alright. I'm not here for Eirin. Today I'm here to talk to you." She raised an eyebrow in interest, and leaned back further into the cushions surrounding her.

"Well it's not something unexpected. I assumed sooner or later you'd want to talk to me about her. She's not a terribly interesting topic, in fact she's rather bland, but I've got nothing better to do. What do you want to say?"

The apathetic tone of her voice and her dispassionate approach towards me was something of a turn off for. That and the fact that I was her guest and she had yet to offer me a seat showed me the sense of self-righteousness I'd picked up from my conversations about her.

I got down on my knees and with as much respect as I could muster I placed my hands down before her, bowing entreatingly. "Please can you stop fighting with Mokou and become her friend!" I pleaded raising my voice in desperation.

Whilst carrying the comatose form of Mokou home I considered what I could do next and the one option that presented itself most pressingly to me was to find Mokou an immortal that she could befriend. Eirin and Kaguya were the only two that fit the criteria and while I was sure Eirin wouldn't really mind it was Kaguya I needed to convince. I needed to make sure she would stop trying to fight Mokou and instead make peace with her.

"Please! You and Eirin are the only two people like Mokou and I need you to become her friend!" I repeated my request, raising my voice even higher to assure Kaguya of the seriousness of my wish. I kept my face down waiting for a reply and the one that eventually graced my ears was of breathless laughter.

I looked up to see her covering her lips with her fan and body juddering in restrained laughter. I waited patiently attempting to quell my rage. Eventually she stopped trying to restrain herself and sniggered outright.

"That's exactly what I expected you to say, but it's still so much funnier hearing it come from your mouth." She told me with an unnerving change of demeanour, already reverting back to her previous state of what seemed to be perpetual ennui. She flicked open and closed the fan in her hands with an aggravating clack. The way in which she repeated the constant motion reminded me of the way kids would do similar things when bored.

"Why not?" I shot at her. "Why won't you try and become friends with Mokou? Can't you see she's lonely, why do you continue to make her life miserable? Can't you just stop the fighting? It's been hundreds of years already! Surely there's no more enjoyment to be found in it! Surely it's just a bother now!"

Kaguya sat back, looking completely unbothered by my aggravation. She patiently waited for me to finish speaking before saying, "Have you conversed with her over this matter? I doubt that she would condone what you're attempting to do. She despises me, not that I mind the feelings mutual."

"Look, Kaguya. I know that Mokou would probably shout my head off if she knew I were here talking with you about this, but can you please try and see things from my point of view? Mokou's unhappy, she's unhappy with her immortality and I think that what she needs is a constant presence in her life. Like you, only it has to be a positive one. Not one as negative and destructive as it is now. She needs a constant positive presence and only you can do that!"

She smirked haughtily, "That's such a boring solution, don't you think? Tell me what do I gain from this arrangement? I have no desire to associate myself with the girl outside of our fighting. I will begrudgingly admit that our fights are the most entertainment I get around to these days, why would I want to stop that?"

"Stop calling Mokou 'her', or 'girl'. Her name is Mokou!"

"I'm well aware of what she calls herself. I've known her far longer than you have. I know more about her than you think. I just don't see a reason why I have to identify her; we both know who we're talking about."

Biting my lip I held back the angered retort I would have shot back. If I wanted this to work I had to remain pleasant and unbothered. "If you know so much about her then why won't you help her, I think you pretend to know what she's going through but in reality you have no idea. Mokou said it herself you don't understand! You always have Eirin with you and always will, you don't understand the loneliness she feels…the…the…you never see what she's like outside of your fighting."

"This is what annoys me most about you mortals. You take one look at us and what we are and assume you know all about us, the way we think, what we feel and what we need." She stood up, the folds of her splendid yukata pooling at her feet. With refined grace she motioned across the room to stand at window, gazing out at the orange painted sky.

With the way the light hit her I became entranced at her beauty, the shocking pure white of her skin, the dark, lightless shade of her raven hair which cascaded down her back and past her butt in straight, lustrous excellence. It now really seemed as if she were a princess come right out of a fairy-tale.

"You don't know us. Mokou hated it at the beginning of course because of the loneliness. However, later, much later there arises a much larger problem than loneliness. One Eirin and especially I discovered quite early on. Temporarily that problem has been fixed for Mokou, thus she latches on to the isolation but that's not the real problem here."

"You misunderstand my role in her life. You say you want me to help but I've already helped her, far more than you have. Tell me, Keine, you seem to think you understand us immortals. What do you think the biggest problem we face is?"

"I…uh…well…" I stuttered, falling over my words and failing to construct my thoughts into sentences. In a timespan less than a minute Kaguya had managed to take any understanding I believed I had of immortals and made me doubt it all. Unable to produce a satisfactory answer I only shook my head.

"Well, let me tell you then," she announced with a final clack of her fan. "It's boredom. Boredom, the loneliness soon fades until you barely recognise it. After that the problem is how to keep yourself entertained. How do you go about having fun? Everything becomes old very quickly."

"It's the boredom, not the loneliness that drives you insane. I've been battling with bouts of constant boredom for a millennia now, lately though it hasn't been so bad. The outside world has invented something called video games. Have you played any? They're really quite something but you look like the old, classical type. You seem like you would rather stay up reading dusty old books in candle light. Which is quite sad really, videogames are so much more fast-paced, challenging and fun, and just as you've finished the one two more have already come out. It's fantastic. Eirin sometimes refuses to go out and buy them for me; she thinks they're bad for my image."

"Can you imagine it though? Some of them called RPG's are even like interactive books, but where you can decide the course of the story. It's phenomenal! Doesn't it sound magnificent? That's the one area where humans beat Lunarians, their innovation for lucrative entertainment. There's this one specific game, a bullet hell called Tou―"

"Kaguya." I spoke in a very brisk tone, trying to derail the current conversation and bring it back on topic.

"Right, well an amusing distraction, but this too shall pass. More on us immortals, AS I said earlier. The boredom not the loneliness drives you insane. Without something to keep you entertained, a goal or drive in your life you have nothing. Take it from someone who's experienced it first-hand."

"Do you know what she was like when I found her? She was barely recognizable as human. It was a pitying sight and so I decided to intervene. It was sad to see someone reduced to the state that she was, I'll spare you the grisly details as you seem soft-hearted but believe me she was one of the worst things I've seen in my thousand years alive."

"She attacked me, do you know that? In fact in every fight we've ever had she's always the one to throw the first punch. I simply respond. We fought for days the first time round, killing and dying countless times over. The bit of earth we were fighting on became unrecognisable and do you know what Mokou did at the end of it all? She laughed, hysterically. It went on for ages her laughter, she seemed half-mad at that point to me. Racketing, full-body uncontrollable laughter. When I left she was still laughing. And the very next day she came to me again and we fought again, as well as the day after that and all days following."

"I managed to have fun as well so I didn't entirely mind and I figured I'd help give the poor girl some sort of entertainment in her life. She needed that more than anything, more than a pet, a friend, a lover. She needed to cut loose and have some genuine fun and so I provided for her."

"Only after we started fighting did she start to become who she is now, she built a house, self-proclaimed herself a guide of the bamboo-forest and began to justify to herself, and to you I believe why she fought me. Hatred for me refusing her father, hatred and blame at me for being the one to send her father off on an impossible task that he never returned from, hatred because I was the one who ruined her life. That's what she says, but it's not the truth. The truth is she was bored and wanted to have some fun."

"Do you understand now, Keine. What it is I did for that girl? The taste is bitter in my mouth when I say this but I saved her. I rescued her from her greatest immortal dilemma." Sighing deeply, she placed the paper fan down and turned to look at me with an almost pitying expression.

Unable to think of anything else to say and still trying to process all of the information I astutely remarked: "I… don't know what to say."

Kaguya rolled her eyes and walked back to the pillows she was lying on earlier. My legs were throbbing from the uncomfortable position I had remained in and so I repositioned them to give them more air. "A simple thank you would suffice."

"…thank you."

"I have to say I feel sorrier for you than I do for Mokou. Look at what she's done now, making someone as kind and lovely as you fall for someone like her."

"E-Excuse me?" I blustered out.

This seemed to amuse Kaguya whose lips began to creep into a wide leering grin, "You really are as cute as Eirin says. She was right, you don't even realise it yourself."

"I…uhm…" I articulated, trying to prevent the blush from rising onto my face. All the while Kaguya was giggling.

"How old are you? You look old enough to be able to recognise when you're in love with someone. Or is this your first time being in love? How adorable you are."

The demeaning tone she used on me, one similar to the one I reserved for speaking with toddlers served to rile me up. "I-I'm not! I mean this isn't…" I spoke, Kaguya quirked her brow in persistence, trying to edge me on to some sort of epiphany.

"I won't spend my time teasing you, you'll come to your own realisation when the time's right. The sooner the better for you both, after all you only have a limited amount of time to be together." She fell back down into her cushions, nestling herself back into the multitude of fluffy, soft-looking pillows. She cast a sidelong glance at the door. "It's getting late and I have plans with Eirin. So, because I like you I'll help you out a little bit."

I grit my teeth, my inflamed cheeks were making me hot and uncomfortable. As much as I now just wanted to leave I couldn't until I'd at least achieved something. "What is it?"

"I'll give you some advice. Forget everything you think is good for her, at this stage I think the only person that knows what's good for her is herself. You came here today because you were worrying about what would happen to her after you died, and I'll be honest with you. She'll probably forget you. This is forever we're talking about, I don't know how important you think you are to her but I guarantee that after a hundred, two hundred year max she won't even be able to recall your face, your voice, or anything about you."

"She'll change and adapt to living life without you, it's what she does. I know no-one wants to accept something like that, accept the fact that they'll just fade into obscurity but the truth is often the hardest to swallow. So don't even give the future a thought, it'll only depress you and cause unnecessary stress. As I'm sure it's been doing lately."

I remained silent but felt my muscles tense in objection, what she said was and true I found myself actively rejecting what she was saying. Parts of me screamed at me to protest to and say otherwise, but a smaller voice inside me whispered, _listen, listen, you don't know anything. You never have, she's right, listen, listen._

"Right now the only thing you should be thinking of is the present. What you can do for her now, what you can do for both of you that's going to make you happy. I know it bothers you so I'll stop picking fights with her, but if she comes looking to me for trouble I'm not going to hold myself back, and I certainly won't become her friend. But for the time being, while you're alive I'll step back and let you have her. So don't hold back."

"Excuse me." A voice quickly interjected as the paper door slid open. Into the room came Eirin donned in her typical red and blue cloth. She turned to look at Kaguya and frowned. "I'm sorry about this, Keine, but Kaguya loves to talk."

"Ohh, and how long have you been eavesdropping on us, Eirin?" The princess tittered, straightening her posture by the slightest amount.

"Long enough to know how overwhelmed Keine must be hearing you speak so cynically," the Lunarian shook her head at Kaguya and turned to me, smiling regretfully at my bewildered expression. "I'm so sorry for all this, Keine, you must be having a really rough day. From what I picked up you must be talking about Mokou, correct?"

"Yes."

She made her way towards me, affectionately placing a hand onto my shoulder. "Well then I believe what Kaguya was trying to say in far too many words is you shouldn't worry about her future. Instead you need to worry about her now and the kind of memories you'll leave behind. Will they be memories of regret? Or will they be memories of love and happiness. The kind she'll always be able to look back on with a smile on her face."

"Don't listen to Kaguya, if you truly love her and she truly loves you. She will always remember you. You believe in the power of memories don't you?"

I nodded.

"You've always had the answer then, but gotten too caught up in the one thing you can't change. All you need to do is ensure that the memories you leave behind will be good ones. I'm certain that all Mokou wants is your love, and that all you want is hers too."

And that was the simple truth.

**SECOND PART END**


	3. Part 3 - Mokou, Answered Affections

**A/N****: Per the norm thanks again to Achariyth1 for beta-reading. To my readers, I apologise for the delay, please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**** Touhou Project and all its affiliated characters are property of Team Shanghai Alice(ZUN). **

**Note:**** This fic contains lesbian/yuri/girl-on-girl content. If you are offended by such material I ask you to please stop reading here. **

…

**Part Three: Answered Affections**

'**I need you now more than ever.'**

I woke up to astounding silence, as if I had reached the deserts of eternity where no life but me – If I still classified as living – remained. I spent a time just looking up at the ceiling, inspecting the cracks and slowly degrading wood. From within that wood I spotted something tiny and white wriggling into a hole.

A termite.

I breathed a steady sigh of relief, I wasn't the only thing still alive. Finding motivation to move I sat up from the futon and rubbed the sleep from my crusty eyelids. I pushed myself up and took in my surroundings. Keine's place. The building was far more degraded than I remembered it being. Besides the obvious case of termites there was rot overtaking some of the baseboards, ants were crawling around and the place was uncharacteristically untidy.

Casting my gaze over to Keine's desk I noted the state of disarray it was in. Usually well organized and clear of junk there were scrolls strewn about the flat desk, the ink had been spilled over and there was evidence of dereliction on some of the larger scrolls. With great trepidation I wandered my way across the eerily quiet home, noticing all the strange inconsistencies.

This was definitely Keine's house, the layout and furniture was hers. Yet, the decrepit aura was unlike hers, the shambolic mess contradicting her always spotless cleanliness. Crusty dried mud stained the flooring of her entrance, wallowing in the mud I found a dress of hers. It was splayed carelessly across the floor, a bitter scent like bile emanating from within its fabric. All of this so unlike the diligent Hakutaku,

I made my way into the kitchen where my fear finally began to take root within me, growing its gnarled roots into the core of my body. Knives and forks were haphazardly littered around the counter and the dishes in the sink were speckled with brown and green gobs of dirt. No, this house definitely didn't seem like Keine's but I'd seen many similar ones before in all my years. This house resembled one that hadn't been lived in for quite some time, one rapidly and suddenly abandoned.

In villages that had been left abandoned as war played its course, stood buildings of this nature, the villagers would take what little belongings they could carry with them and flee, deserting their homes and the lives they knew. The houses I'd explored in such villages were always the same, always like this. Soulless, slowly being reduced to ruin, weathered away as all things were under the mercilessness of time.

"No," I felt myself breathe, whipping my head all around the house to find evidence that supposed otherwise. "No!" My panicked mind began to run in desperate circles. _Is Keine gone? Did I sleep through her entire life!? That's impossible! But what if there was a crisis in the village? Would she just leave me here like this? Surely she wouldn't, everyone else maybe, but not her, not Keine._

"Keine!" I shouted disrupting the broken-down silence that had overtaken this home full of my loudest memories. "Keine, where are you!? Keine!" I swung open the door and stepped into the dark, shrouding night. My bare feet crunched and sank into the soft ground of nature. I ran around the house, once, twice, three times. Not daring to explore any further, to find that beyond this house the confirmation of my fear.

"KEINE, WHERE ARE YOU!?" I wailed desperately.

"_Imagine this," _the memory of Kaguya's provocative prose began to replay, _"That little teacher-girl you're so infatuated with lately. Picture her once she's dead. She's going to die you know, soon too. Imagine her dead, her body eaten by writhing maggots, the worms crawling underneath her skin. Disgusting, don't you think?"_

"NO!"

I stubbornly refused to let the notion that she was gone sink in; I denied it with all my heart. Then I heard the sound of padding footsteps and rustling bushes. When she appeared before me, face flushed from exertion, I felt myself sink to the ground in relief. She looked well, healthy, young, rejuvenated. In a wonderfully magical voice that could never be replicated, nor could I ever properly recall she spoke.

"Mokou, what's wrong?"

"Ah, it's nothing. D-don't worry about it. I was just a little nervous is all." She closed the gap between us and crouched down to level our eyes. She placed a reassuring hand on my shaking frame and squeezed tightly.

"Thinking some stupid things were you," she said, lovingly wiping away the small amount of moisture settled around my eyes. "Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, I was just finishing off something important."

"Jeez," I complained, now embarrassed at my irrationality. "Don't leave your house in such a mess then! What's up it's like you left me to sleep in a pig sty! There were ants, and termites and rot and you still haven't washed your dishes yet! Since when did Keine become such a slob?"

"I'd say you're rubbing off on me a little, and to be completely honest with you today's been more than a little rough." She teased pulling me back onto my feet. I scoffed at her and looked away. "Come on, let's get back inside. I bet you're starving."

My stomach decided to raise its voice in a rumble of agreement, Keine just giggled typically and took my hand in hers. The warmth and life of her smooth skin served to calm and reassure me of her presence as a person and not a psychotic delusion of my mind. "Sorry."

"About what?"

I took a deep breath in to calm my mind and rearrange my thoughts. "For fighting with Kaguya today, I caused you trouble and broke our promise."

"Oh, that?" Keine articulated nonchalantly as if that had been the last thing on her mind. She pulled me back inside and closed the door. "Don't worry about it. I'm willing to accept that sometimes you need to do what you need to do. It was selfish of me to suggest you stop doing something that entertains you. In fact because of it, well. I can't say for sure, but I've got a better grasp of you now. So in the end it didn't really hurt anyone."

Shocked and more than a little confused at Keine's change in opinion I answered unsteadily, "Still. I promise I'll never do it again. Ever. Not for the rest of my life!"

The compassion and acceptance I saw in her eyes when she looked at me, was at a level I'd never encountered before. It left me breathless, feeling warm and fuzzy. "Don't you think that promise is a tough one to live up to? Well, it doesn't matter. As long as you mean it now, then it makes me happy to hear that."

"Keine…"

"Now, what do you feel like eating? I've got some udon, or we could have soba. I was going to make manju but I forgot to fetch the right ingredients from your place. Think it up and I'll see if I can make it." She disappeared into the kitchen and I could hear the clink of metal and the burbling of running water. I was a little hesitant to approach her in this generous forgiving mood of hers and was left a little at loss for words.

"I'll just have some udon. Here let me do the dishes." She looked like she wanted to protest but I gave her a firm look that said I wasn't going to take no for an answer. Stepping back in defeat she let me take charge of the sink while she began to cook up the noodles.

"These ants and termites really are a pest though, aren't they? I wonder if I can get someone from the village to get rid of them for me, perhaps Wtiggle would be willing to help. Although this place is already in shambles as it is. It's one of the oldest houses around here you know?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yup. I've been living here for as long as I can remember, I'm thinking though that as much as I love it here. All things come to an end right?"

"Well not all." I remarked, finding a stubborn piece of dirt and scrubbing at it with force just below what was required to shatter the bowl.

"Well, yes. Not all things. I can think of a few that won't end. I don't see the sky ever ending, or the ocean, humanity will struggle on for a good while too. Then there's also immortals like you and Kaguya, oh, and of course my love for you."

There was a crash and the shattering of broken glass as my hand smashed through the bowl I was cleaning. "Ah, sorry, sorry!" I bent down and began to pick up the shards of fragmented glass._Ah Keine what the hell are you saying, now look what you've made me do._

"Mokou, you're bleeding." Keine grabbed at my arm and that's when I noticed the sticky crimson liquid running from the tip of my thumb to the base of my hand. She pulled my hand to inspect the cut and seemed relieved at its minority.

"Well it's a shallow cut. There's not much to worry about. For now we should just stop the bleeding."

"Ah, right. Uhh let's see, tissue, tissue." Finding nothing like a tissue around I used my unoccupied hand to seize the wash cloth. "How about this?"

"Don't be silly, Mokou! That cloth is filthy, we don't want to infect you or anything. Hmm, I've run out of bandages so…" For the next three seconds to any time around a minute my brain failed to function properly, or I was hallucinating. One of the two.

There was a feeling of wet warmth which wrapped itself around my thumb followed by a gentle sucking sensation, and the light tickling of something moist and slimy traversing its way across it. I didn't quite understand what this dainty feeling was, I stared at my thumb, and what was around it for several seconds before processing.

_Sh-she's licking it! K-Keine's licking my thumb!_ Shouting that in my head only served to intensify my confusion as the words weren't making sense. I bit down on my tongue, hardly registering the pain at all too absorbed in the blissful sensations emanating from my thumb. I stiffened, unable to properly breathe and felt glued to my spot, slowly solidifying into a statue. All I could do was watch her suckle on my thumb and wait.

The warmth receded as Keine slipped my thumb out of her mouth. My eyes remained transfixed on the glistening sheen of hot saliva covering my thumb. "There now the bleeding has stopped a little." She took the ribbon from her house-hat and expertly tied it around my thumb, applying pressure on and closing the wound.

"There we go, you should probably leave the dishes for later. The udon's almost done so just lay down for now, okay?" Unable to maintain direct eye contact I nodded and slowly shuffled out of the kitchen. I sat down and lay under the kotatsu, replaying and rewinding the past five minutes over and over in my mind whilst not once taking my eyes of the cute ribbon wrapped around my thumb.

"Time to eat," Keine sang, gliding into the room with two bowls in each hand. She set the bowl down before me and instead of sitting at the opposite end of the kotatsu like usual, squeezed into the spot next to me.

"Th-thanks for the meal." I stuttered, wolfing down the bowl in front of me as an excuse not to participate in conversation. I finished with a satisfied smack of my lips and wiped the remaining contents of the delicious meal off my lips. "That was great, Keine!"

"Thank you, seconds?"

"Not right now, I think I'll have again in ten minutes." Yawning I stretched my arms out behind me and fell on my back, feeling full and sleepy. "It's so comfortable here."

"I'm glad you think so," Keine remarked finishing up the last of the noodles in her bowl. "Though to go back onto the topic earlier, I was thinking maybe fixing this place up wouldn't be worthwhile. It's already in such a broken-down state, maybe it would be easier to just build a new house."

"I don't think building a new house is easier than fixing one up."

"Well maybe not, but it could be more worthwhile. To just go at it and create the house of my dreams!"

"That does sound pretty nice," I admitted. "I've always just taken what's available, or quickly made something that could just as easily be taken down. A dream house, huh."

"Exactly! That's why, I was thinking maybe… you and I could build a house together. We could build our dream house, and realise our dreams in it. Grow closer together in it. Live the rest of our lives together in the house we created." Intertwining our fingers together she lay down on her side next to me, looking right into my eyes she grinned bashfully. "How does that sound?"

Several times tonight Keine had shocked and stunned me, this confession of sorts however took the cake. Unable to think, as truly now all the logical parts of my brain had been shut down by Keine's divine splendor, my heart answered. With strength and confidence, "That sounds like a dream come true."

I wasn't sure what to make of this new development. I didn't think my world could change so much in a short amount of time, it seemed illogical. Of course the kind of people who try to apply logic to love are the ones who haven't experienced true love. It's illogical, irrational and often times spontaneous, exploding in your face.

"I'm happy to hear that. I love you, Mokou."

"I love you too, Keine."

I still wasn't sure if our loves were exactly alike yet, however it was at the point where I felt that comparing our loves would be like comparing an octopus to a squid, dogs to cats, and iron to steel. They might look different on the outside, their inner workings might differ in the smallest, trivial ways but really, if you didn't think about it much, they were one and the same.

This kind of love I could settle for, this kind of love I want to indulge myself in for as long as possible before it becomes impossible to do so.

This is that love, the kind that will never end.

….

'**Love makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place.'**

"So I was thinking today after school we go have a look around for a place to start building the house, is that okay with you, Mokou?"

"All good with me," I replied beaming at her with a silly face. I reached over to grab a little piece of botamochi from the lunch Keine had packed. Nibbling on the snack I cast a sideways glance at her, smiling beatifically whilst watching me. Life had become far more relaxed as of late, the days seemed to pass by in a hazy blur of comfort and serenity.

I thought I'd be worried yet, there was nothing that could possible bring me out of this wonderful stupor. Keine and I would be building a house together soon, we were practically living together already. Due to the state of her home she'd been staying over at my place day after day. It wasn't as cramped as I would have imagined, although it was certainly a small house for two people. We embraced the constant nearness and adapting our lives around each other couldn't have been a smoother, more natural process.

Although my house was much farther from the village so that meant Keine had to get up earlier in the mornings to make it on time. She also only came back at times when the sun had already set. Concerned that such a diligent and delicate lady was walking out alone at night I undertook the beleaguering task of accompanying her early in the mornings to school and guarding he from the creeps of the night. Even if she didn't really need it.

"I want there to be over twenty rooms and four different gardens! There should be running water nearby and oh a bridge connecting the two halves of the house over the river! Man and some giant pillars, statues of Maneki-neko and daruma dolls for good luck! And enough gardening space to grow our own food and uhh what else…"

I winced as Keine plonked me on the head, shaking her head exasperatedly. "I know I said our dream house but you have to be a little more realistic. We can't make a palace just for two people! There's no way the villagers would agree to help out if that were the case! Be a little more humble."

Rubbing the spot she had hit I laughed a little, "Yeah I know, I know. I think a smaller house is comfier anyway. Besides, any house that has Keine in it is a dream house for me."

"M-Mokou!"

I leaned forward leering at her. "Oh, did I embarrass you! My mistake, I didn't think the person who was bold enough to make such a proposition to me in the first place would be so shy about it." I poked at her rosy cheeks as she sighed.

"It was a spur of the moment thing, okay? I didn't think you'd be so pretentious about it like this. Always jeering at me when you get the chance," she shrugged off my approach and looked away as what most would perceive as angry, but I knew otherwise.

I backed off lifting my shoulders so-so, "What can I say, Keine's been super cute lately and I'm struggling to hold myself back." I placed my hands behind my head and laid down on her lap, the sweet pillow reserved solely for me. "Uwah, so comfy."

"Aren't you being a little presumptuous?" She intoned, coating the undertones of her voice menacingly. She gripped my cheeks and tugged on them, although I kicked and complained I couldn't feel any pain at all. Our eyes caught one another's, and we both blinked. Looking at my reflection I saw somebody I could hardly recognise as myself. With my face encased within her hazel orbs it was like I was inside her, in body and soul.

"Sensei! Sensei!" A whiny voice interrupted us breaking the mood. "Sensei! What's bigger the moon or the sun?"

"That would be the sun, Houtarou-kun," She pointed at the shimmering golden circle reaching the peak of its climb for the day, "When you look at a full-moon during the night it may look bigger than the sun but that's only because it's closer to us than the sun. The sun is actually a thousand times larger than the moon but it's so faraway that it looks smaller."

"Oh! That's amazing sensei! How do you know that!?"

"Well it was something I learnt a little while ago as well. Do you want to know something even more amazing?"

Leaning forward on the tips of his toes Houtarou looked at Keine with wide expectant eyes, breathing becoming even more excited. "What!? What is it!?"

"Well you see, you know how tiny the stars are?" She asked him, drawing him further in. Hysterically, Houtarou nodded, "Some of them, they're actually even bigger than the sun! Hundreds times bigger, the sun is like a baby to them. But they're so far away that if you ran for over a million, no a billion years you wouldn't have reached them yet."

His mind blown by this new piece of information he ran off to all of his friends to brag about his startling new revelation, talking spiritedly to the other plebeians as if he himself discovered it. I pushed myself off of Keine's lap and looked over the children.

"You actually managed to get rid of him quickly this time, usually they won't stop asking why, why, why? All their questions can get so tiring," I complained furrowing my brow in annoyance that now the moment was gone. "How do you do it?"

"Well little kids are always curious at this age, it's also the easiest time to get new information into their brains. So I think it's important that when they're curious about something you should try your absolute best to answer them. That way they'll learn something that they won't ever forget."

"Heehh, so that's how it works. Well as long as they ask you and not me I don't mind. I'd probably end up telling them the wrong thing by mistake." I glazed over the children again and focused on the oddest of them all, sitting alone by herself picking flowers. "That girl…Hanabi, can she still not talk?"

Keine followed my eyes and tracked the mute *girl. With* a disappointed sigh she nodded, "Yeah… I thought I knew how to approach the problem but nothing's worked so far. She just doesn't want to talk about it."

"Really, nothing?" I asked a little surprised at the girl's resilience, in a way – I don't think I was supposed to – but I could respect the girl's silent rigor. "That's quite something, did you do the numbers thing? That even worked on me."

With a grimace she nodded again, "I guess she's just more complicated than you are, more sophisticated somehow."

"How rude!" I looked at Keine's solemn expression, my anger dissipating. Deciding to give it a shot I stood up and wiped the dirt from my clothes. "I'll go give it a shot. I haven't tried talking to her yet so maybe all she needs is a more insistent approach. You know like… instead of just asking her to talk…make her feel like she needs to. The direct way is always the best way!"

Looking panicky Keine looked at me dubiously, "I don't think that's the best way to go about this… you might just cause her to regress if you're too insisting."

I held up my hand, telling her to stay seated. "Nothing you've done has worked so far, so it's time for me to work some ancient magic." Still looking skeptic and more than a little worried I offered her thumbs up to try and calm her down. .

With that little exchange, I began to approach Hanabi, still idyllically plucking flowers. However she seemed to contain an extreme prejudice for red and white. _Bingo._ I reached her and stuck in her sublime lethargy she had yet to notice me.

"Those are some really pretty flowers," I said casually, beginning to pick some of my own. Hanabi's own picking slowed and she shifted a little away, giving me a cautious stare.

"It's a little strange a girl with the name Hanabi would be so quiet don't you think? I mean 'hanabi' are fireworks aren't they, and they explode and make lots of noise! You should be making tons more noise, like boom!" I threw my collection of flowers into the air with an exaggerated motion. Hanabi froze, first in shock then loosened up beginning to watch the petals as they fell. She watched entranced as the petals arced and swung in the subtle breeze. When one deposited itself on the tip of her elfin nose she blew at it. _So cute!_

Wanting to work with this momentum I quickly continued on, "You know I see you've only collected red and white flowers there. Do you like those colours? I do too; they're some of my favourites. Reds so… heroic and white is so pure and pretty. I mean just look at my hair and clothes! Here, want to touch my hair?"

I waved my hair in front of her and she looked up at me with round, deep blue eyes that were asking for permission. I nodded and hesitantly she reached out a small, hand and ran her fingers through it. Her face lit up in glee at the soft sensation. _Perfect, just a little longer…Now!_ When Hanabi pressed her nose to my hair to smell it I yanked it away from her, the sudden action caused her to stumble and fall.

"If you want to continue touching my hair you're going to have to ask for it." I told her flouncing my hair just in front of her face. She stared at me, clearly irritated.

"I know you want it. All you have to do is say that you do." No response. "Come on, just say it." Again no response. Hanabi paid me no mind and went right back to her flower picking. That I found quite irritating.

"Heh, who knew you were such a spoilsport." Hanabi's fists tightened at that, but still no vocal equivocation was brought forth.

"Let me tell you something kid, this not talking thing of yours is really stupid. I think you're just trying to manipulate everybody like this, make them do what you want, leave you alone when you want and all that. It's pretty lowly." I smirked when I noticed her face scrunch up.

I felt a dagger-like stare directed at my back. I turned to look at Keine who was frowning in consternation and trying to indiscreetly skulk closer. I gestured for her to give me more space and stop hovering around us. With a dubious nod of her head and an all too apparent sigh, she conceded. "Don't do anything stupid!" She mouthed. Waving away her concerns I returned my focus to Hanabi.

"I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through because I don't. I get that you were really scared by those youkai, you probably never want to experience something like that again. Although do you want to let them affect you like this? They'll have won then. There would be no point in your father dying trying to protect you.

"You should speak! You should shout and scream. To show them that you haven't lost! And not all youkai are scary like those ones were, you know that Sensei is a youkai, right?" Hanabi was appropriately riled up now, no longer picking any flowers. I grabbed her at the shoulders and made her look me in the eyes. Now the battle begins.

"Keine-sensei is a youkai. You know that, Hanabi."

There were tears in her eyes and her lips were trembling like puppies lost in the cold.

"Hanabi, you know she's a youkai. I know you do."

A crackly wheeze, the struggle of a voice being forced between lips.

"She's a youkai, right?"

"Yes," A low hoarse voice replied in a volume just above a whisper. High and croaky like a rusted door hinge. I couldn't let myself be thrown off by this sudden breakthrough and so barreled onwards. _I haven't won until I get sentences out of her!_

"And she's not a bad youkai*is she?" There was no response and so I asked more urgently, "Do you think Sensei is a bad youkai? The nice sensei that's been trying to help you out, surely you don't think that."

Insistent, I pressed on, beseeching her to speak, "Think of everything she's done for you, all those pretty cards she made, all those times she helped you out when you were struggling. She cares about you. Don't you appreciate her work? You don't think she's bad, do you?"

"I don't," She answered again with that same dull screech, but this time with more power, less quaking. She looked down guiltily, letting go of the flowers in her hand.

"Of course you don't, you like Sensei don't you?"

"I do. I like sensei."

"You know what would make Sensei really happy?"

"What?" She was trembling now but the tears had vanished from her eyes. All that was left was eagerness.

"If you ran up to her and told her that in your loudest voice. You've got to really shout it out! You can do that right?"

"I can."

"Do you want to?"

"I do. I do want to. If it'll make Sensei happy then I do!"

"Then go on!" I roared at her giving her an intense shove forward. She recovered, found her legs again and looked back at me nervously. "You can do it, Hanabi."

Nodding her head she turned to an inquisitive looking Keine. She jogged up to Keine, footsteps light and uneasy. She looked into Keine's eyes and took a deep breath in.

"Sensei, I like you! Even if you're a youkai, I know you're a good person. I really do like you!"

Keine's shock lasted for half a second before her features softened and she offered the easiest smile I'd ever seen her make. She wrapped the delicate little girl in her arms. "I'm happy to hear that, I like you too, Hanabi-chan."

_That actually makes me kind of angry, and really jealous for some reason._

"Well," I sighed, "that's my job finished." Of course seeing Keine so happy as well as helping the troubled girl brought warmth to my heart. _Heh, as expected of me._ The two were happily embracing and talking amiably, exchanging compliments and praise.

All was going well, until I noticed a very vexed looking girl walk up to Keine and Hanabi. She was one of the older kids in the class about twelve to fourteen years old and a constant troublemaker wherever Hanabi was concerned to hear Keine tell it.

The girl came in between the two of them and simply, without hesitation as if she was merely swiping at a fly.

She shoved Hanabi into the dirt.

…

'**Love comes to everybody in many different ways. Attraction is the first thing, no? But loves must be more than that. Love needs to be magic.'**

She was thirteen, with common russet coloured hair that ended just below her shoulders, decent enough grades, and the only daughter of seven children. The most striking feature of hers were her clear, forest green eyes that contained a certain charming steeliness. She was the kind of pretty you didn't notice or rather weren't made to notice. That was Yoko Nakagawa, the current target of all my unrestrained animosity.

Growing up surrounded by boys she'd definitely developed as a tomboy in both her speech and personality, dissonantly similar to a certain witch. From my brief encounters with her I knew the girl was ornery, mischievous, and temperamental, with a 'me against the world' approach to life. I generally liked the more fiery kids as we got on relatively well and I could relate to them. Yet this kid who remorselessly pestered Hanabi all the time found no place within my heart.

It was still break time outside for all the other children, however Yoko had been taken to the class where she was receiving a very thorough lecture about behavior. One I couldn't help but add my own input to.

"Honestly I'm at my wits end for what to do with you, Yoko-chan, you're disruptive in class and ever since Hanabi showed up you've been constantly picking on her. Ylu're forcing me to take drastic measures on you." All the while through Keine's talking Yoko remained looking towards, but not at Keine. She looked through the teacher with impatience and a sour grimace.

"How about we shove your face into the ground," I suggested with an acerbic hiss. "Or just send you home permanently."

She scowled at me and shrugged. "Whatever, there's worse things you could do."

Swallowing back as much rage as I could, I cracked my knuckles, twisting my smile threateningly. "Oh don't you know it."

"Mokou, keep quiet! You're not helping!" I clamped my mouth shut and huffed, annoyed at the impish smile that crept onto Yoko's face. Yoko leant back in her chair sticking her eyes to the ceiling.

Bending down to her level Keine placed a hand on Yoko's knee. "What's the matter? Did Hanabi do something to you?" Startled at the contact Yoko quickly shifted her legs shaking Keine off of her.

"No," She admitted crossing her arms and shifting in her chair with a grunt. "Like that little brat could do anything to me."

"Then why did you push her?" Keine asked, entreatingly moving closer. Eyeing her suspiciously Yoko coughed watching her body movements intently.

"That's none of your business."

"Actually it is my business. When you have a grudge on someone, and act on that grudge by bullying them it becomes my business." Keine held the brunettes hand, stroking her thumb tenderly across Yoko's calloused palm. With a deepening shade of red colouring itself on the canvas of her face Yoko tensed. "Nobody's angry at you, Yoko."

"Yeah right," I coughed.

"Mokou!" Keine exclaimed, I held up my hands to show that I was backing off and leaned against the wall, watching the two. Brushing her hair across an ear Keine returned her attention back to the edgy girl. "Is everything alright at home? If there's anything at all going on, you can tell m―"

"Th-there's nothing wrong with home!" Yoko burst out, averting her eyes from either of us. "Well, not really anyway. We're a little low on food at the moment but Momma says that's alright because Kentarou's moving out to live with his fiancée soon and Daddy's income is a little more stable now…"

"Alright, then if there's nothing wrong at home is it school that's making you angry?" She shook her head. "Then why is it you keep picking on Hanabi?"

"I don't know why."

"Yes you do. You just don't want to tell me."

"Come on," I started, glowering at Yoko, "Why did you shove her?"

Shifting on her seat Yoko turned her head up, then shot it straight back down to her twiddling thumbs. Heaving her shoulders forward Yoko said: "Because she was talking, it was irritating."

"Some people really can irritate you just by talking, I can think of one prime example right in front of me." Keine's deathly glare following my remark was scalding.

"Hmm, yes she was. Mokou got her talking, but why would you be irritated by it?"

Swinging her legs underneath her seat she repositioned herself yet again. "I don't know."

_This is getting nowhere! Just send her home already, I'm tired of this._ Yet Keine wouldn't quit, it was like she'd latched onto something and was unwilling to let it go until it either wrung free from her grasp or she was finally satisfied with it.

"Talk to me, Yoko. You know you can tell me anything," Keine coerced the stubborn girl. They remained in their seats, neither of them moving except for the fidgety Yoko. I decided to occupy my time by watching the other kids play through the window.

"Wh―" She started but wasn't able to finish. She was on the precipice staring down, wondering if she could make it. All she needed was a little extra nudge which Keine was more than happy to provide. Kids are a real pain.

Switching nervously from me to Keine Yoko's gaze travelled. "Alright, I got it. I'll leave," I said shoving my hands into my pockets and moving towards wondrous salvation.

"No!" Yoko exclaimed suddenly. _Damn it._ "I-If it's you two then… you guys might understand." I spun around curious at her bizarre need of wanting me to stay.

"Understand what?" I asked.

"…How do you know when you're in love?" She asked her voice so timid and soft I almost thought I'd imagined her saying it. Keine and I passed quick questioning looks at one another.

"Well Yoko-chan, there's many kinds of love you know," Keine began treading cautiously.

"I mean in love in love! You know, like when you want to like… marry them and stuff." She looked up desperately, pleading to each of us for a suitable answer. "I don't know how to tell…And it's really frustrating and I'm confused!"

Carefully so as not to make too much noise I grabbed a chair and swung it around, sitting reverse and resting my arms on the back. "Well… When you're in love like that, then you'll know because you want to… kiss them, right?"

Slowly, as if considering very carefully the words I'd just spoken she minutely nodded her head. Catching onto me Keine elaborated, "That's right. When you love someone you get all nervous around them and your heart starts beating fast. You feel funny inside that and you know because you don't just want to hug them, you want to go further than that."

"Ah! But at your age you definitely shouldn't go beyond kissing and whatever! You should wait till you're fully grown and be one hundred percent sure of your love." I jumped in quickly, shocked at Keine's tactless approach. _Jeez._

"B-but how do you make sure?" She asked.

Keine swept in first before I had the chance to set this in the right direction, "You've first got to make sure you can work together as friends! After all if it's just a physical attraction it's all meaningless. You've got to want to get to know them better on a personal level!"

I nodded slowly filtering her words for anything that could be misinterpreted, "Yeah, and when you're in love. You also can't get that person off of your mind…and you always want to spend time with them."

"Precisely! They're like a dog and you're a tic who just doesn't want to be separated from them! All you can think of is sucking on them and you never want to let go!"

"Yes… Wait I mean no!" I signaled at Keine to keep her mouth shut. Oblivious to my throat-slicing ministration Keine only tilted her head wonderingly. I hunched my shoulder forward on the chair. _You suck at this! Haven't you ever talked to a kid about this before?_

"What sensei is trying to say is that, they're like your favourite pillow."

"Hm. Right you want to sleep with them all the time."

I clamped my hand over Keine's mouth severely concerned as to where her common sent flew off to. _Or is she just naturally this oblivious?_ "Again, what Sensei's trying to say is when you're in love with someone you want to wrap your arms around them so that you can always protect them. They make you feel comfortable and safe."

"When you think of the future you want to have kids and raise a family together with them," Keine managed to mumble out from my hands. A little annoyed at that reason I tightened my hold on Keine, slowly beginning to suffocate her.

"Well that may be one part but what you _really_ want is someone who you can build your dreams with you know?" Tapping furiously on my arm I released the choked idiot and she sucked in huge, gasping breaths. "Look in the end you've just got to make sure that he's the right guy for you, that he only wants the best for you and vice-versa."

I mentally patted myself on the back for my great job and sighed satisfactorily.

"But, what if it's not a guy you're in love with?"

I felt my heart freeze over, winds of cold stirring from within and blowing through my body chilling it to ice. I looked at Keine motionless on the floor and felt dread rise like a wave, pulling back the ocean of my lungs and crashing into my gut.

"It doesn't really matter," Keine cut in, her voice oddly calm and sweet, a tranquil sea of honey you wanted to permanently pander in, "does it, Mokou?"

"No…of course not."

"I think love is boundless, and that true love doesn't have a gender, or race, or any boundary that can't be overcome with determination and passion."

_Keine…_

"Really?" Patting Yoko fondly on the head, Keine beamed one of her most brilliant smiles, one that left me speechless and without breath.

"Of course, as long as everything Mokou said applies, why should something silly like that matter? Love is more powerful than you know, it crushes mountains, floods seas," she poked Yoko, finger placed right atop her heart. "And it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so much so that you do stupid things, don't you?"

"Yeah," Yoko looked up, grinning aloofly.

"Is that why you were being so mean to Hanabi-chan? She was making you have all these confusing feelings so you took out your frustration on her." Grin faltering, guilt replaced her delight, remorsefully she nodded.

"That was pretty stupid then. I don't think Hanabi-chan likes you very much right now. Don't look so down, I'm sure if you apologise earnestly she'll forgive you. After all she's a very nice person, that's why you fell for her right?"

"But you've got to be careful; because even if she decides she wants to be friends with you she may not feel the same way. You understand that, right?"

Solemnly Yoko replied, with all too familiar eyes of hopefulness, "Yeah, I know. But I want to try."

"And you should. But be patient okay. And know you're probably going to face lots of hardships. But a love that can weather the storm will only come back stronger than it was before. But you're strong and I know you can do it if you try."

Furiously Yoko nodded. "Thank you, Sensei; I knew someone like you would understand."

"It's my pleasure. Now just promise you won't ever do that again and that you're going to go apologise immediately."

"I promise."

"I'm sorry to interrupt your moment," I said just wanting to clear a little concern of mine. _Hanabi's like seven years old!_ "J-just I mean, this is beautiful and everything. I'm stunned actually but just exactly how old do you think Hanabi is?"

"Hanabi's eleven years old, isn't she?" Yoko told me, looking at Keine for confirmation.

"Yeah, she's turning twelve next month. She is pretty small for her age, but if you look at her mother you would see where it comes from."

_Whaaaaat? I thought for sure she wasn't even over ten years old._

"A-alright…Well, problem solved I guess."

"Now go apologise," Keine commanded Yoko, giving her a pat on the back, "do you want me to come with?"

"No thanks, Sensei. Oh and don't worry I'll keep your secret."

Simultaneously, our two brains operating on the same wavelength, Keine and I asked, our voices an echo of each other. "What secret?"

She gazed at us quizzically before answering directly.

"Aren't you two in love with each other?"

…...

'**Dare to dream.'**

It wasn't complete yet but already the house was beginning to look like paradise, if in my imaginations I had to conjure up my definition of a paradise you'd find that the image in my head and the one before me were almost exact matches.

Tittering on the edge of the dense bamboo forest, cross-sectioned by a small, gracefully flowing stream, situated in a patch of open, clean cut grass was my soon to be home. Our home, I corrected myself hoisting a plank of wood and handing it off to one of the carpenters. The area when not surrounded by taskforces of laboring men, kappa and earth spiders, was peaceful and quiet, cut-off enough from the world that it gave the illusion of being in a plane of its own. Yet it was close enough for Keine and the villager's convenience.

"If we keep up at this pace we should be finished with the exterior the day after next, so don't slack off anybody!"

"Hai!" I and all the other workers exclaimed in unison. Two more days! I began to whistle a tune, adding a specific swagger into my walk that clearly showed my glee. The work continued another hour or so until lunch time. A single mind as the time for rest came all the men concluded the tasks they were occupied with before pulling out their various lunches.

The usual clamor of grabbing for others food ensued and I was happy that this time at least I'd managed to retain at least one morsel of Keine's home-cooked meal. "This is really good! So Keine-sensei can cook to huh, I'm so jealous!"

I scratched my head embarrassedly and quickly tried to derail the topic onto something else. We all sat chatting, the men exchanging boasts of their 'conquests' and sometimes turning to me for advice on matters of the maze-like female heart. I gave advice as best as I can but the moment I caught sight of Keine making her way back from the village I quickly ducked out of the conversation and ran towards her.

"So it looks like the house will be finished in two days' time!" I declared excitedly, Keine looked slightly shocked and shook her head motherly.

"You're not overworking yourselves are you? I don't want you guys to push too hard," she told them.

"Not at all!" Ryuunosuke, the youngest of the men, shouted back at her before shoving his face full of food again.

"Yes, just like Ryuu-kun said," His father began, wrapping an arm around his sons neck. "This is the first time we get to thank you for your tireless work. We're not going to slack off on a task so important, otherwise we couldn't call ourselves real men!"

"We're going to make you a house that will last forever! No less than you deserve!"

A little flushed from all the friendliness Keine chuckled, "Thank you, the Shoji are coming along nicely as well, ah Mokou that reminds me what colour tatami would you like the most."

"Hmm, you can only really have white tatami, right?"

"I thought that's what you'd say, well, boys, I'm going to take Mokou to help with the sewing now, be careful now."

"Hai!"

The rest of the day progressed smoothly, as well as the one following. Keine and I helped out as much as we could wherever possible, after all this is our home we were supposed to build together. Keine wanted to participate in some of the more labour heavy work but the men were insistent that she not soil her image. Of course once she effortlessly carried twice as much as even the biggest of them they were forced to concede.

_It kind of annoys me they never insisted I don't do manual labour. Do they think that I'm manly? Or… are they all perverts?_

When one of us wasn't directly involved in the construction we'd be with the other women in the village sewing, knitting and crafting all of the interior pieces of the house. Keine managed to procure some of the finest silverware and bowls from generous families while I was given a thorough, deafening scolding on my farming practices.

Then finally the day came, the workers patted themselves congratulatory and we bowed bestowing upon everyone our gratitude for their assistance. The sun began to sink below the horizon and our little world transformed magically.

"Do you know why I picked this location for our house, Mokou?"

"Yeah," I answered her placing my hand atop hers on the door. I regarded my surrounding momentarily, taking in the sublime atmosphere. "This is where we first met. In a way it's kind of poetic." Together we pulled open the door together, stepping into both metaphorically as well as literally, the start of a new chapter in our lives. We slipped off our shoes, replacing them with slippers.

"Of course, building our future life by the place in the past that started all of this, it's beautiful." We strode hand in hand through our new home together, it was a startling seven rooms in total, a lot larger than I'd anticipated but the villagers insisted on providing Keine with a house that fit her status of village protector.

There was a garden in the middle of the house that all the rooms opened up to. The stream cut through the middle of the garden, a quaint, intricately designed bridge sufficing to transverse the calm water. The garden was decorated with beautiful flowers of all kind, bamboo stalks rising in the one corner and outdoor seats for relaxation.

The entrance hall was the one of the two largest rooms in the house, a twelve-tatami mat space decorated with various welcoming and hospitality statues and figurines. Branching off the right and left side of the house were two six-tatami mat rooms, one serving as Keine's study and the other as a comfort room. Growing upwards from each side were five-mat tatami rooms. On the right, one a tea-room, the other the kitchen. The two on the left were bedrooms and closing off the two sides of the house at the top was the twelve-mat dining and entertainment room, and of course detached from the rest of the house was the washroom.

"Walking through here like this, doesn't it feel like we're two newlyweds?" Keine chortled looking at me expectantly with calm, satisfied eyes.

"I suppose it does," I whispered pulling the two of us closer together. We continued our leisurely stroll around the interior of the house, all of it seeming a little like a fairy-tale to me_. _It reminded me of living in the Fujiwara manor all those years ago, before the darker days, before Kaguya. Except this time there was Keine. _I'm going to live her from now on, live here with Keine._ It all seemed so surreal; we pinched each other to make sure neither of us was dreaming. We weren't.

"Two bedrooms, huh," I muttered under my breath, "which one do you want? I don't mind either."

"I-if you don't mind, why don't we just keep the one as a spare…and share the other." She suggested opening the door to two already laid out futons. "It would be a lot warmer that way wouldn't it? I've… grown fond of sharing a bedroom with you ever since I've been staying at your place. So…"

The odd contrast of Keine looking both bashfully shy, her cheeks a rosy complexion and innocently erotic had the combined effect of making me want to jump on her, ripping apart the strung together collection of threads we call clothes.

"N-No problem," I sputtered biting back my urges.

_This might be tougher than I thought._

…

'**I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.' – A.A Milne**

Somehow or another, through trickery and masterful deception the wonderfully clever, yet eternally innocent Keine had fooled me into 'breaking in the bath' together with her. Her choice of words were yet again wonderfully suggestive.

So now I bathed, face half buried beneath the hot water, the heat a wonderful excuse for my blush, with Keine loosely relaxing beside me. Naked. I tried my hardest to ignore that specific detail. Feeling oddly inadequate I brought my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly. Against my will my eyes would ceaselessly wander to Keine, skin slick and rubicund. No matter how many times I forced them back to the blandness of the wall, they would revert impossibly drawn to their greatest allure.

"Say, Keine… Why do you keep doing that?" She paused, a lustrous lock of my hair resting in her palms.

"Well I couldn't stop thinking how long and beautiful it was, so I wanted to touch it. You understand that right?" Loping her hands through my hair she continued unperturbed with her ministrations. I gulped. _Of course I understand that._ "Say, Mokou…"

"What?"

"Can I wash your back?"

Exasperated at her innocent unawareness I nodded, "Sure. I'll wash yours afterwards." I parted my hair with open palms and brought it over my shoulders. My white hair pooled in front of me, bobbing evenly up and down. She moved in place behind me, pressing the sopping washcloth to my skin. I tensed, then relaxed as she began kneading the muscles of my back.

_"Aren't you two in love with each other?"_

_I wonder, Yoko. I know how I feel towards her, but Keine… well you might not know it but she can be kind of dense. I don't want to read the situation wrong and make everything awkward between us, or risk losing her. Although she wouldn't necessarily be against it… she said so herself, that true love has no barriers. Could that mean… but, what about kids? Keine loves children so, surely._

"Mokou what's up? You haven't said anything for a while now, is the heat getting to you?"

"Ah, no, it's nothing I was just thinking about something."

"Ohh, what were you thinking about?" She asked sliding her hand softly across my shoulder. I tightened my grip on my knees and felt the tips of my toes twinkle.

"You remember when Yoko asked us about love? Well, you said you thought that it didn't matter who or what the person you loved was. As long as you have determination and passion."

"I do remember that." Keine stopped scrubbing my back and I turned around so that I was able to see, and hopefully read her face. "Although I also think that you can't be selfish with love. You have to consider the other persons position you know. Like how it may affect their family life, their future, or how they may feel about it after you're gone. You have to consider the effect you're going to have on their lives and if it's going to benefit them or drag them down… So sometimes it's tougher for some people."

"But it's like you said, sometimes those extra challenges help to serve and strengthen your love." I closed the distance between us, perhaps I was affected by this the bathwaters heat, it was muddling my mind. Though I knew the truth of that, there was no way external fire could ever influence my state of my mind. Although this slight, unexplainable and slightly irritating inner passion might.

"Yeah, that's what I think at least." She met me halfway, eyes glittering with nervous anticipation. She dropped her voice to a whisper, perfectly bashful she fluttered her eyelashes, unsure of where to look. I felt my heart race faster and that uncomfortable, yet pleasant center warmth grew hotter.

"You know, this really is a dream come true for me. Getting to live in this house with you, but ever since Yoko… I can't stop wondering if what she said might be true. And I'm sorry but I get this really selfish feeling sometimes, I want more than what we are now. Keine you're my dream and I want to love you more." _There, I said it. Now it's either sink or swim._

"Keine…" My breath came out rushed, pushed desperately out of my lungs as my gut clinched. She was crying, she didn't whimper or sob. Yet the tears were all the deafening noise I needed. I winced at the sting of rejection, feeling my limbs wanting to give out. "Keine I―"

She placed a single, stout finger on my lips. "Just let me say one thing," she said, her mouth twisting into an honored, melancholic smile.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" I repeated blinking back hissing tears, "what f―"

Softness like a cloud overwhelmed me, a lightness like if I didn't hold on tight enough to the earth I'd float, bubbled from within my stomach. Her lips were sweet, molding into mine seamlessly. From light tremors, to viscous uncontrollable emotion I could feel it all. This kiss was a silent plea, communicating that simple, deeply convoluting abstract entity we call love.

Melting away my doubts, my fears, providing me with a fullness so complete I worried I'd never be able to swim because all I'd do is sink, like a rock. That's what this kiss did to me, it sucked away my breath and in that emptiness love flooded in. So heavy and absolute, so radically explosive I worried for my safety.

_When I saw you I was afraid to meet you. When I met you I was afraid to love you. When I loved you I was afraid to kiss you. Now that I've kissed you it feels like I've run in a complete circle._

_Because when I kissed you I was afraid to lose you._

…

'**I used to lie awake at night, wondering about you, fretting about you, thinking only of you. Not much has changed, except now I lie awake at night loving you.'**

The moon at its peak,  
the night completely devoid,  
of all sound but us.

Within our bedroom, our silent world, the air is thick and heavy with her bewitching fragrance. Sake lies discarded, our small celebration abruptly ended.

Heaving chest, dishevelled hair, slipping kimono, 

I took her to bed,  
in passion we are reborn,  
lost in lovers hold.

She lays down and I follow her body, like crackling tails follow their fiery source. Hesitantly, as if she would shatter at the slightest touch her existence a delicate crystal, I caress her.

Tender touches, electric kisses, sensual waves,

Above her in bed…  
Little breaths lifting our bodies,  
Eyes, fingers, dreaming.

"Wait," She breaths greatly, her voice husky and excited.

"Should I slow down?" I intone, sinking my head against her.

Hot breath, sweltering skin, naked flesh.

The pulse in her neck  
revealing her heart racing  
although she lies still.

"N-No, it's j-just… I feel like my hearts going to explode." Smiling, my hand atop her chest I feel her heart. Racing, roaring, pounding against its cage, for me.

Shut eyes, tense muscles, flowing life.

Integral desire,  
Swallows our grounded beings,  
Elevating lust.

"Mine too," I whisper, saccharinely intense leaning forward, "Feel," Her breasts against mine, our hearts drumming in sequence, forming their own melodious rhapsody. Short, mischievous peck, followed by a long, intrinsic dance of tongues.

Shallow moans, sweet flavour, loving embrace.

Speaking in tongues,  
My body understands,  
Every word. 

We break apart, her eyes trailing after me desirably. Leisurely, I open her kimono. Touching and feeling her bare flesh, working the muscles of her tone stomach, goosebumps, shivers. "You're beautiful," My heartfelt whisper tickles her ear and she whimpers.

Playful blowing, devilish nibbling, lustful sigh.

Tightly her fingers,  
Coil, press, sink into my flesh,  
Scratches marking me.

"M-Mokou…"

"Shh," I silence her with my lips, "don't worry, I know. I'll be gentle." I kiss her lips again, her forehead, her eyes, ears, neck, collarbone, the supple flesh of her bosom, the sensitive tip of it all. She shudders and my tongue creeps forward, coating it all in a glossy sheen that mesmerises me.

Bated breath, shut eyes, palpable sensation.

Tasting salty wet  
Still thirsting, my tongue pursues  
her hot sweat again

I send my hand curving along the contours of her body, across her navel, her hip, stroking her inner thigh. Slick, sultry and warm. "I-I don't k-know what's wrong with me, th-that's―"

"I know what this is, you don't?"

"H-How would I know? This is my first time…"

"Well I'm not exactly experienced either but…You're a teacher and yet you don't know about this? No wonder you were so clueless." I chuckle at her virtue.

"Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologise about," I lowered myself, goading her legs apart. She bites at her lower lip, eyes focused expectantly. When she caught me looking she averted her eyes. "I'll be using my mouth then."

Testing touch, teasing, the discovering of pleasure.

Sweat dampens our sheets,  
her soft body and warm breath,  
echo in my mind

Wet wells from her core, perspiration lies slick in her deep, swaying valley. The flick of my tongue holds her at the edge of anticipation. The suspense is thick, goosebumps rising on our skin, blood running hot below. Seeking more, I plunge into her.

Stunning surprise, bracing, the shock of intensity.

Her hips rise and fall  
to the relentless cadence  
of my dancing tongue.

Ecstasy begins to cloud her mind; frenzied senses alight in rapturous sensation. Tightly her legs close around me, enticing, refusing my escape. I dive deeper, igniting my body and hers in carnality. Breathlessly she pleas:

"M-Mokou!"

Curling toes, arching spine, deep gasp.

Her pleasure a song,  
Delivered raw in pure verse,  
Crescendo of love.

In her quaking, she becomes the embodiment of eroticism. From her amatory scent, to her seductive cries, and her addictive taste.

Subtle satisfaction grows, body trembles, eyes white-out.

She hangs on the edge, breathing rapidly until I murmur: "It's okay. You can come now."

A rush of wetness,  
as her muscles push me out  
and her back arches.

In a soundless roar, she succumbs to nirvanic delight. Letting herself be taken on a blissful journey, high, above herself and all. Reaching the closest thing to heaven that can exist on this earth. She rides each wave, every ripple, till the waters calm and finally die down.

Bathing in angelic afterglow, I confine her in my loving embrace. As I caress her cheeks, she bats her eyes singly, they droop as if stuck between dreams and reality. With little insistence she pulls me in and we kiss, her taste still fresh on my lips. She shudders noiselessly, sighing in fulfillment.

"It's your turn now."

"You don't have to."

"No, but I want to."

Gently our eyes meet. Hazel, wide. Beautiful. Her silver-blue hair glistens in the subtle light. Caught lost in her splendor, the fiery ache of my core throbs. I sink myself onto her knee, moaning at the thrilling arc of delight that singes my skin on contact.

We kiss again and continue our passionate consummation of love.

We become lost at sea, in the dark night our soft cries, rise and drown out everything. All there is, is _us._ We love each other till the sun rises on a new day, and on a new chapter of our lives, where from here on out our stories will be told together.

**THIRD PART END**


End file.
